Excruciatingly Hard Session With My Therapist Today

[Heather]

I saw my therapist a little while ago and we ended up talking about why I walked out of his office a couple of weeks ago. He thought it was because he said something that upset/annoyed me. I told him that wasn't the reason. He wanted to know what it was then. He said if I don't open up and tell him these things then he won't know. I just started to cry.

Why? Why after 2 years is it still so hard to trust this man? I trust him more than anyone else in my life right now and I told him this but even that has a limit. I realize I give him a hard time and I push him away BUT I don't know how to put that wall down and let him in.

He said if I couldn't do it with him he then suggested to try it here. Saying that what you resist persists..... He wants me to get it out. Doesn't care how, just wants it out and says I'll feel better once that is done.

Thoughts?

 

[OKRADLAK]

(((((((((((Heather))))))))))))))))) You know, I don't trust them, either. I guess it'sbecause anyone who is paid to care.......can they really care?Most people say yes. I say no . If no money, no help. That is a system that is too fragile for me to want to be part of it.

 

[NIKI]

Oh, you must get it out, whatever it is because it will eat you alive if you don't. This is a great place to do that because you know that we are all here to support you. Do it slowly and only when you are ready.:)

 

[Ron]

I won't judge you. I am all "ears" when you share whatever is inside of you.

 

[intothelight]

Hi Heather,

Sounds like you have hit one of those points where "something" is causing you to really struggle. If there is "something" that you need to address and work through, whether it is here, with your T, or by some other means; only you know what it is and when you are ready. But it seems that you really won't progress until you do.

Heather, this is hard and there are people here that will support you.

(((Hugs)))
Deb

 

[Heather]

AAAAaaaauuuuggggghhhhhhh!

 

[Heather]

Most people say yes. I say no . If no money, no help.

I have to agree with most people because he has gone out of his way to help me. Even when hes been on vacation hes called me when I've been having a hard time to make sure I'm okay. If that doesn't say he truly cares then I don't know what does? He has done this on more than one occassion.

 

[Ron]

AAAAaaaauuuuggggghhhhhhh!

No pain, no gain.

 

[Ron]

I mean it in a kind way, to let out the pain like letting the air out of a balloon.

 

[ronin47]

My thoughts? You are a very fortunate person. You have a T who sincerely has your best interests at heart and wants you to heal and be happy. I don't believe he would invest that kind of energy into you if he didn't think that you are fully capable of become a whole, healthy, and happy person and recovering from your trauma. I also feel that because he so sincerely cares about you and is such a great T that he will not hold it against you or feel any kind of dejection if, even after two years, you struggle to tell him things. Take his advice, write down the stuff that you feel is stuck inside of you. Then when you feel ready share it with us here, and from there work toward sharing it with your T. What I do sometimes when a subject is really tough or emotional is I write about it in my journal and then I bring my journal into therapy and let me T read it.

 

[Heather]

No pain, no gain.

I guess that's why I must be so hefty:speechless:

 

[Heather]

I won't judge you. I am all "ears" when you share whatever is inside of you.

I found a way to do it. There's a thread I found in Chit Chat called "you are no better than anyone else" it's an old one that I resurrected. I did the best I could.