My wife is active military and has been out of state for a couple of months for training because leaving overseas for a years. About a month ago she snapped on me and said I didn't appreciate her etc. She has not been the same since, she says she wanted space and so that I tried to give her. My wife and I are the type of couple who discuss everything and anything that is wrong or bothering us. We never wanted to be that couple who had built up resentment for one another.
So giving her this space was very hard for me I know I had no idea what was going on and I couldn't even talk to my best friend (my wife). When she snapped at me that was our first fight ever in three years or being together, I was so hurt and blindsided. After the first two weeks she tells me that this is her PTSD and that she just feels so disconnected from me so that just crushed me. She said it was not just me that she was shutting out, she said it was everyone. That leading up to all this she had been crying herself to sleep because she was so stressed about leaving and the military kept moving up her day to leave. My wife has always been the type to trying and protect me feelings but I told her that she did not need to be strong her me and shouldn't have been keeping this pain from me. More weeks had gone by and it just got worse, she never wanted to call or text me and had not skyped with me since before this all happened. I'm broken and have no one to talk to. We have always said that our marriage is our marriage and I still feel that way. I wanted to get through this together. Even with her shutting me out and not really talking to me I never thought for a second that we were over, I thought she's going through something I don't understand and I just have to be here for her.
Two days ago she called in the morning saying that they moved up her date and that she was driving home. The military was just going to ship her call to me and not let her come home but she told them that we had to figure things out before she left. She arrived her late that day so we did not really talk about everything till yesterday. She said that she felt I took her for granted and when we would skype that I would ignore her and just watch TV and play with the kids (our two cats) but she was she would watch TV all the time. She says that I was just going through the motions and when she did something nice that I would just say thank you but to her that wasn't enough because somehow she just feels inside that I did not appreciate her. I cried and expressed to her how sorry I was for ever making her think or felt that way, I really had no idea. It kills me to know that I ever hurt the person that I love. I asked why she never spoke up about this before and she went off on me saying that she did but I never listen to her ever. I didn't want to fight but if she had told me i would have changed a long time ago. Throughout the day I still had not gotten any type of affection and I couldn't even look at her face. I felt like she was just looking at me with discus and felt nothing towards me. She said she though things might change when she saw me but it didn't and she didn't know if she wanted to be with me.
We were driving back from lunch talking about when she going to her parents house and how she wanted to stay the night but did not want me to go, she said I'm sorry I'm not trying to hurt your feelings. But she did and I broke down, I could tell she was annoyed with my crying and I asked if she was already planning to leave me and her answer was yes. That her family had already known her plan to leave me. She went off on how much she resents me for everything and that I have always treated her like cramp. If I even felt like I mistreated her like that then fine I had this coming but I didn't. This was crazy, how do I lose me wife just like that. She said I will always love you but that's it I am done, I don't want to try and your too late. How was I too late when I was never given a chance? When we got back to the apartment she packed a bag and just left. I said that even if she left me, I was in way giving up and was going to do everything and anything I could to fix this. She said, " Ha that's want you think, it's over. You never thought you would see this side of me but now you have."
Was the whole this thing about this being her PTSD just a lie? Was this just about me, she just stopped loving me? I do not recognized my wife anymore, she would have never done this to me. The person she has been the past few weeks has just been so numb and angry. What do I do? She is my soul mate, I know the person I love is somewhere still in there. I love her with every ounce of my body, I can't let her go. I would wait a lifetime for this woman.
So giving her this space was very hard for me I know I had no idea what was going on and I couldn't even talk to my best friend (my wife). When she snapped at me that was our first fight ever in three years or being together, I was so hurt and blindsided. After the first two weeks she tells me that this is her PTSD and that she just feels so disconnected from me so that just crushed me. She said it was not just me that she was shutting out, she said it was everyone. That leading up to all this she had been crying herself to sleep because she was so stressed about leaving and the military kept moving up her day to leave. My wife has always been the type to trying and protect me feelings but I told her that she did not need to be strong her me and shouldn't have been keeping this pain from me. More weeks had gone by and it just got worse, she never wanted to call or text me and had not skyped with me since before this all happened. I'm broken and have no one to talk to. We have always said that our marriage is our marriage and I still feel that way. I wanted to get through this together. Even with her shutting me out and not really talking to me I never thought for a second that we were over, I thought she's going through something I don't understand and I just have to be here for her.
Two days ago she called in the morning saying that they moved up her date and that she was driving home. The military was just going to ship her call to me and not let her come home but she told them that we had to figure things out before she left. She arrived her late that day so we did not really talk about everything till yesterday. She said that she felt I took her for granted and when we would skype that I would ignore her and just watch TV and play with the kids (our two cats) but she was she would watch TV all the time. She says that I was just going through the motions and when she did something nice that I would just say thank you but to her that wasn't enough because somehow she just feels inside that I did not appreciate her. I cried and expressed to her how sorry I was for ever making her think or felt that way, I really had no idea. It kills me to know that I ever hurt the person that I love. I asked why she never spoke up about this before and she went off on me saying that she did but I never listen to her ever. I didn't want to fight but if she had told me i would have changed a long time ago. Throughout the day I still had not gotten any type of affection and I couldn't even look at her face. I felt like she was just looking at me with discus and felt nothing towards me. She said she though things might change when she saw me but it didn't and she didn't know if she wanted to be with me.
We were driving back from lunch talking about when she going to her parents house and how she wanted to stay the night but did not want me to go, she said I'm sorry I'm not trying to hurt your feelings. But she did and I broke down, I could tell she was annoyed with my crying and I asked if she was already planning to leave me and her answer was yes. That her family had already known her plan to leave me. She went off on how much she resents me for everything and that I have always treated her like cramp. If I even felt like I mistreated her like that then fine I had this coming but I didn't. This was crazy, how do I lose me wife just like that. She said I will always love you but that's it I am done, I don't want to try and your too late. How was I too late when I was never given a chance? When we got back to the apartment she packed a bag and just left. I said that even if she left me, I was in way giving up and was going to do everything and anything I could to fix this. She said, " Ha that's want you think, it's over. You never thought you would see this side of me but now you have."
Was the whole this thing about this being her PTSD just a lie? Was this just about me, she just stopped loving me? I do not recognized my wife anymore, she would have never done this to me. The person she has been the past few weeks has just been so numb and angry. What do I do? She is my soul mate, I know the person I love is somewhere still in there. I love her with every ounce of my body, I can't let her go. I would wait a lifetime for this woman.
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