Facebook Depresses Me - Facebook Blues

[Jline]

For sure Superjen,

People have even contacted my mother on her facebook looking for me. I am just not able to participate, it causes me to have anxiety. It seemed a little like a popularity contest. I have also had to request from family members to not put pictures up of me. Makes me very uncomfortable. My close friends call.

 

[Lucky Laser]

I limit my Facebook to just a few people and use it mainly to set up meetings. I don't like to start reading things on it for the same reason as others... there are plenty of triggers there. I used to have a Live Journal... its gone. Used to use AIM to chat with folks... its gone. It isn't just Facebook... I've deleted every other social networking site I've ever touched.

As another side to things, I think its good from a professionalism standpoint not to have those kinds of things anyway. For example, if you're some high ranking official, you don't need one of your buddies posting the photo of you at the bar.

 

[AthenaErdmann]

As another side to things, I think its good from a professionalism standpoint not to have those kinds of things anyway. For example, if you're some high ranking official, you don't need one of your buddies posting the photo of you at the bar.

Except if you are studying Information and Communication Systems, like I am. :-/ In my program, if you don't use at least one of e.g. these actively: LinkedIn, Facebook, SlideShare, Wikipedia, Flickr, SecondLife, BlogSpot... you are not believable as a professional-to-be. So I have quite a number of Facebook friends, but I am selective with them (read up on people before accepting friend invites), and if someone turns out to be a jerk, quietly unfriend them (no drama). I can count on one hand's fingers the people I have needed to unfriend during these last two years. Nobody has ever asked why they fell off my FB list, and if anyone ever did, I have no qualms about claiming it must have been a malfunction in Facebook - FB has so many technical problems that this will sound entirely plausible.

I'm actually quite fed up with FB, but I am more mad about how it breaks down repeatedly - I haven't seen much drama. Might be my age - most of my non-study FB friends are 40+.

Athena

 

[Lexa]

I had to respond to this. I deleted all of my facebook friends..didnt know how to delete the account. I thought I was the only one with a problem with facebook. For me it was a way to further isolate myself and yes..to not see all of the old friends happily chatting about their lives. Recently, I have carefully added some of my closest friends and it is almost empowering for me to test the waters again and to control who I allow into my carefully guarded world.

 

[gdf]

First, Jen, I want that t-shirt! How many times does someone ask me "Are you on Facebook?" It's common these days to hear that.

I got an account because a friend posted personal pictures and we are not allow to upload and send pictures (my vacation, new car, new baby, etc.) at work. My young nephew and his beautiful wife and kids post things for family to see (birthday parties,holidays) and I like that part. I think I have like 4 or 5 friends but I fixed the settings to most private and stick with my family and close friends for contacts. It's a blessing or a curse depending on where you are in life at the time.

I find myself here on the forum for social contact, resources and connections more than Facebook. So in a way this is a kind of Face book for me. Good thread guys.

Gina

 

[Deleted member 5760]

Thanks gdf, that meant a lot...

Exactly. To be perfectly honest I stress most days thinking 'oh my god - is someone I know going to find my post accompanied by my picture and realize that *I* suffer from this? Then run off and tell ~alllll~ their friends that Jen 'has gone crazy''. Well, that might happen. It very well might. But obviously something about this particular site made me put my picture up. It's just one of those catch 22s. I'm sure if everyone knew half of them would say 'that was brave' and half would say 'eh??? crazy'. I don't like to be part of facebook because I'm not sure there is a reason. I like to be part of this site because even if somebody 'catches me out' at least I'm exposing a very real issue. If it means a few people realising that YES, I am not perfect, then at least it might bring a bit of empathy. However, the last thing I want to be is a martyr. Because they are just plain annoying!

It feels very much like when I 'came out' (there's a word for everything now eh?) as gay....

I felt no urge to wander the streets waving flags and letting the whole world know - I was embarrassed and I was dealing with my reality being suddenly shifted in a way I didnt see coming at 6 years old and thinking I'd be married with 2.5 children and a white picket fence at 30. I don't want to parade PTSD around like it's some badge of honour. At the same time - if somebody asked me flat out 'do you suffer from PTSD?' I would never deny it.

I don't want to glamourize something that is very hard and VERY REAL... So I suppose I pick and choose where I choose to speak. And I found this website to be a rather useful forum from which to speak.

 

[Gloria]

I haven't been on the forum for a while but in the last few months I was thinking of writing a post with the same headline "Facebook Depresses Me!" A few months ago I went on a Facebook and it triggered one of the worst depressions I ever experienced. I looked up my ex-husbands, abusers and their families. It triggered so many things - anger that they looked good, pain from memories. Who need to see who your ex is sleeping with or married to. Everyone looks so good on Facebook. Most people don't even look like their pictures. It's only a real superficial way to see people. My problem is that almost everyone is on Facebook and I can't go on there because I don't want to remember. I don't want to know what other people are up to. There was a time when you divorced and you never heard or saw them again especially if you avoided the people that knew them. Now, anyone could find me (if they know my e-mail address or last name). Good for you for writing this! I wish you the best of luck!

Gloria

 

[Artista]

I have never done up my account... think I have one listed but never started it. Now I just have no interest. And I think I am now defiant...as if I must be one of the last to not have an account. I have always kinda been... oh so everyone's doing it? Then I guess I won't! HA! Like tattoos. When I was in college I wanted one! Never could settle on one image I like to start with. That was 20 years ago when "everyone" didn't have one. Now it's just so much more common, so I don't want to get one as much. Recently got invited to a "Tattoo party" gees! I hear so many squabbles start on FB and seems very clicky like HS all over again. I also don't have time for that. How does everyone fit all that communication in? Gets really addictive. I'd rather live my actual life than the one people often seem to embellish on there!!!!!!

 

[Grama-Herc]

Well, I am a grama on facebook strictly to see pictures of my beautiful grandbaby, cuz my lazy daughter won't send me any. Us ole folks prefer paper pictures, ya know!

 

[catjudo]

Aww, Grama-Herc, we moms know we should send pics but despite our best intentions it doesn't get done as often as we would like. I'm so glad that most of my family (and my daughter's family from her dad's side) is on FB so that I can quickly and easily share pictures and videos of my daughter. I always mean to send paper pictures but inevitably life gets busy and almost a year has slipped by without me doing it.

Even though my daughter is too young for a FB account, I actually have an account set up just for her so that I don't have to "friend" her dad or people in his family from my own FB account. They're all FB friends with her and that is where I go to update her status and let family know what she's up to as well as share pictures and videos. They all love that they're able to see what's going on in her life.

 

[pandora]

I was just on yesterday and was actually feeling jealous of everyones pics and how happy people seem....

We have to create our own positives to share..when I update my status I try to now be positive and write positives. It does make me sad though when I see other families or my family that I have isolated from....

 

[goatgirl]

Wow, I thought I was the only one who hated Facebok. I didn't have my account very long but I just deleted it yesterday.

I remember a few months ago I made a comment while I was out with a group of friends about seeing everyone's pictures and how full and happy their lives appeared compared to me. Everyone just stared at me, I might as well have said I wanted to punch a baby.

I tracked down a cousin who was abused by the same person. I never actually contacted her but I got a little bit obsessed with it. I would check her pictures and click on her friends. I just wanted to see her. I so desparately wanted to talk to her about it. She had the courage to do something about the abuse. She tried to help me as well but I had just denied everything. I feel like I betrayed her. I just wanted to apologize for my actions.

Okay I guess I went a little off the rails there. Back to the topic, Facebook sucks!