I am experiencing a lot of the same feelings with my father, as well. He was an alcoholic and left my mother and I alone..to live a life of chaos, trauma, and uncertainty. He got remarried and I have brothers and sisters I have never met..I have never actually met him yet..because I'm angry. Very, very angry. Angry for every time I needed my father, angry for every time another man laid his hands hands on me and my mother..I'm not quite sure whether I would give him a hug or I would punch him in the face if I saw him right now. There's times I want him to hurt as much as I do..
But I think that its good to experience the anger and the pain of it all...it's shows that the mind, body and soul are processing those painful feelings and are one step closer to finding peace. Good Luck!
