Relationship Faked stomachache to get out of hanging out with boyfriend

[ArmyVetGf]

My boyfriend who has combat PTSD came over earlier to pick me up for a concert. I was super excited to see him, and even though he surprised me with my favorite coffee, he was in the worst mood the minute he walked in the door and was acting super short and irritable and not really wanting to talk at all. At first, I tried asking him what was wrong, and he said nothing. Then I tried cheering him up, but he told me to just let him have his negative opinions. So after a while, it was just a total bummer being around him. Even though I already had a bit of a stomachache, I decided to exaggerate it a bit so he would leave. I was pretty relieved once he did but later on felt guilty, especially since he struggles with anxiety and depression at times. Does this make me a bad gf?

 

[EveHarrington]

No, this does not make you a bad girlfriend. It means you’re human. My take is that you didn’t want to be in a negative space and decided to be alone.....which is perfectly fine. My boyfriend takes space when I’m not in the best of places and he can’t handle it. I may get annoyed in the moment, but later I understand.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Exactly... like @EveHarrington said, sometimes we need our space just as much as they do. I love my sufferer to bits. He and my kids are my favorite people ever... but if he’s miserable and in a shit mood he doesn’t get to come and spread that misery around.

 

[Never_falter2]

I am pretty sure that he was relieved he did not have to go to the concert. Those with combat ptsd typically hate this kind of thing because it triggers them.

 

[ArmyVetGf]

Yes, I think on some level he was relieved. Even so, I think he picked up on the fact that I didn't want him there, especially since he kept asking me about it today. I didn't have it in me to tell him he was a total buzz kill. I feel like he should have enough self awareness to know without me having to tell him.

 

[Freida]

ill. I feel like he should have enough self awareness to know without me having to tell him

If I had that kind of awareness I wouldn't have ptsd. When I'm in that place I'm too busy trying to watch all the exits and keep track of what's going on around me so I don't die. Noticing I'm being a raving beootch is way down on my list.

So hubby has to tell me. That is something we worked out one day when I was calm and we could talk about it. Because he doesn't get it. How can I think I'm in danger when he doesn't see the threat? That's just it....he cant. I can. So he has my permission to tell me when I'm being uber bitchy

I can't always do anything to change it but he feels better knowing it's just a response to whatever has set me off and that he is allowed to point it out and I will at least agree to try to reign it in. In turn he agrees to not try to get me to places that are a total nightmare for me to deal with.