Fathers Day

[Heather]

So there is no point in hating the day as it marks your protest.

But I do hate the day. It's painful.

 

[Heather]

imagine your Dads mates asking if he heard from you for Fathers day.

.

He forced me to have sex with him. So, I could care less what he tells his "mates" whether or not he's heard from me.

 

[Jestadud]

I'm sorry for your hurt and if I've added to it that wasn't my intention.

 

[Heather]

I'm sorry for your hurt and if I've added to it that wasn't my intention.

no, jesta I'm sorry. It's been a shit few weeks and I'm in a mood. Father's day just adds to my angst and I don't think you knew what my trauma was. I shoulda said it from the start instead of going off. Let's just call it a "draw"
my friend:)

 

[LawPhotos]

I am sorry that there are those who have struggled with Father's Day. My struggle this year was that it was the first one since my Dad died. But I get why some have a hard time.

Days like these can be filled with angst for so many reasons--some of them even conflicting. This was the first Father's Day since my father passed away after a great deal of horrific suffering from Alzheimers. I am devastated by his death and the abuse he received from my mother once he was incapacitated. I am sensitive to suffering and I become physically ill when I think of what he went through.

Yet I am shocked by the similarity of his final years to my entire childhood and young adult life. Being at her mercy and receiving the brunt of her abuse. I have always struggled with why he didn't save me from her---and now there is something deep inside of me horrified by the thought that I didn't save him. (even though I tell myself that I lived 1200 miles away, am the only caregiver of my completely disabled son, have two other children and was going through a 3 year long divorce battle).
It is so hard for me to reconcile the fact that he HAD to have known what was going on yet his way of coping was by being a workaholic, being away from the house, leaving us alone with HER. He got away as much as he could and offered us up as a sacrifice. Wasn't I worthy of saving?---Why didn't he love me enough to help me? At the same time the only positive memories that I have involve my father and especially good are the times we were alone. He played with us and took us places, the only time we didn't live in total hell. He would whisper in my ear how important education was--I never realized it until I was much older but he was saying that it was my only way out and that he knew I could do it.---and I did, but I left him behind.

This is also my kids' first Father's Day since the divorce. He was physically there for them every single day until I gave him the addict's ultimatum--get help or get out. He got out and hasn't once exercised visitation in 3 years. He never speaks to them. Not on birthdays, Christmas---nothing. Evidently he believes in hurting me by hurting them. It has been particularly rough on my daughter who is young and my handicapped son who is not capable of understanding----he still cries for his daddy at night. My son, ill since birth, had a massive stroke last year and was in the hospital in ICU in critical condition for nearly two months. His father stopped by 3 or 4 times in that two month period and never stayed more than 20 minutes.

 

[a3a2]

I hate Father's Day. If I don't DO something for the man who constantly beat and berated me, my mother will call and remind me to do so. Every year I go and look at cards, and every year I walk out without buying one. Either they are so full of sh**, that I couldn't possible send it, or I can't bring myself to spend $2.50 on a card that says NOTHING. This year I was tempted to buy one of the lovey dovey cards, because he would know I was being completely smart a**ed and sarcastic.