Fear Of Being Alone

[Justmehere]

Suddenly, I am fearing being alone. To the point of really huge anxiety and tears. I normally struggle with being too independent. Now this.

How do others cope with this? I haven't gone through any new losses to trigger this. I'm not sure why it is coming up. I have lost a lot of people in the past, and to survive it, I learned to stop needing people.

Now, I feel like I can't breathe being so alone. It feels like the world is caving in on me. I am trying really hard to not internally verbally abuse myself like crazy for feeling this way, but to instead find a way to cope with it and work through it and work with it.

 

[Hope4Now]

Hi Justmehere. Lots of stuff going on with you, huh? I swing to these extremes sometimes (but am usually uber-independent). Maybe you have some young vulnerable stuff coming up...parts that are wanting to feel the security of being with another person. Will you go see your therapist? Can you get out and go to the library, or the grocery store, or a movie, or some other un-charged place where there are people around? Is there a friend or acquaintance you can invite for a visit or a coffee? Sometimes I will take my journal to a coffee shop.

One time last summer I had this total freak out about being alone. And virtually nobody I was even vaguely friends with was around. I ended up inviting a person over to my house via facebook...someone I don't know particularly well. It was all pretty weird and VERY unlike me, but it did take the edge off the anxiety. (Of course, then I just got more anxious about why I had been so anxious as to take this sort of risk...sigh.)

If it is inner children who are feeling scared of being alone...remind them that you are there :).

 

[darrenS]

i can certainly relate, i live alone and love my independence, however there are times where i feel lonely and dont want to be alone. but in reality i know if someone was there when i needed them to be , i probably wouldn't talk and would want to be alone - i also know that if someone were there , by the time i explained everything to get to the point of comfort, id be exhausted and wanting my alone time.

I usually feel this way when things are just a bit too much, i am very much aware of it now and just do the best i can. im also aware it becomes acute when im workng through something difficult and the process itself creates an isolation type atomosphere.

God luck with working through it , youve had a pretty tough time of late , i wish you the best and as always feel free to reach out if you ever need to

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Being alone is so hard for me. I tend to think sad thoughts when this happens so I have been in the process of starting over and building me a life that is positive and it is hard and has taken a long time to get here.

I am so sorry that you are going through such a hard time. Being alone is human and feeling lonely can happen anywhere at anytime. Do you have a pet? Or not? I have found that having a pet helps so much. They are very comforting and well worth it.

I used to love being alone and having time to myself. But then my husband got sick and died and I was living alone and it was awful so I moved in with my daughter and my grandkids.

I am still lonely at times but I was a very lonely child and grew up mostly alone. I think that is the root cause of my loneliness.

You will grow in this painful experience and I am so sorry that you have to do through it. I wish you the best.

 

[falling_wave]

I feel like this a lot but at the same time I need my recharge alone time. I think doing errands or sitting in a coffee shop helps. Also take risks invite people over. Some times that needs to happen to make more solid friends. I also joined pilates classes and I go everyday at the same time and not only am I getting a workout but I'm getting to know the people who also go and the instructor remembers me everytime. Believe me I know how painful it is but try to be as social as possible and don't over think why you are needing connection. It's normal. Overtime you will become more connected and you will feel less impacted by the need for connection. I also babysit sometimes when I'm lonely. The love and fun you can have with little ones can calm down the ache and get you in touch with your inner child a bit.