Fear of self control & all control

[Deleted member 12723]

Yes people change and show different faces.

This is a very new concept for me. Thank you for talking about these issues Abstract. I guess it can go both ways when we change and grow we can also show new faces. I find it very hard to be a human being sometimes. I am starting at not knowing the facts about something and not allowing me to get into speculation or assuming and it is very hard work to catch myself in this sometimes.

I do not like power struggles that are unspoken and I do not do well with others controlling me either. I wish you well on your journey.

 

[Abstract]

Hi @Bearlinda Thanks so much. Was off trying to survive the week.

I'm sorry you relate but glad to know you relate if that makes sense. It helps. I did have some movement after discussing this in this thread and priesing apart what was/is happening. I just wish I could get past this in my life. I hope you do too.

 

[Abstract]

Hi @Rain Thanks so much. It is certainly very hard to be a human being sometimes. Totally agree. Sorry you too feel that way. You are right we all show different faces in different situations. And we change over time. I guess I am at a point in recovery where I accept people have moments of anger and moments of all the other modes of being human. That we are complex. I understand the roles of these and that people aren't perfect. Our personalities are multifaceted and sometimes not all working together in the same direction. Or mine aren't. I used to be very affected by others anger and often triggered by it but after a lot of work over a lot of years am much improved with this.

What I still struggle with is when my hypervigilant brain has analysed who someone is, started judging the person as generally well meaning only to have a moment where the core of the person is revealed as being manipulative and will a negative agenda. It freaks the life out of me. This has happened to me now and I am not responding terribly well, internally.

I too absolutely hate power struggles. I wish everyone in the world would just leave others who are behaving respectfully alone. Realising how panicked it makes me feel whenever there is any hint of what I perceive as others trying to control me. Realising I am not in my adult state when go into that place.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

What I still struggle with is when my hypervigilant brain has analysed who someone is, started judging the person as generally well meaning only to have a moment where the core of the person is revealed as being manipulative and will a negative agenda. It freaks the life out of me.

me too, I hate being caught off guard like that and I think that this one is particularly hurtful as well. When the true nature of a person who has a hidden agenda and plans for me I do have a very difficult time with that and I think that this is a normal reaction to a abnormal situation. I do not see anything wrong with what you are struggling with because this is such a difficult person to try to deal with because of their own issues or nature.

I am still working on it.......