Feel like i'm getting worse before getting better

[anthony]

I think mostly I've got a bad habit of trying to shoulder everything on my own.

I wouldn't call trying to shoulder things yourself, a bad habit. If you're talking about trying to ignore things, then yes, a problem. If you're talking about trying to work stuff out for yourself, that is a good habit. I would simply add that you're likely going about it wrong when it comes to trauma and PTSD.

In reality I don't think I've ever been so on edge and just anxious and I'm not sure entirely why. I don't know if this is a case of things getting worse before they get better or what. But I've been living with my partner for 6 months now and I'm still feeling like every day is a struggle at times.

What do you feel has you on edge? Is it that you think your new relationship may dissolve because of what you said here:

I can see how tiring it gets for my partner on my bad days and it really does suck.

You have thoughts in your head, what are they? They are likely the ones spending the most time in your mind, and right now, they aren't really reflected here IMO.

Leaving your family will help you, in some regards. But you have left for a new city, a new relationship, and what I perceive is a constant worry that your partner is going to leave you because you're tiring for him.

What are those thoughts ruminating in your mind??? They hold the key to this.

 

[Ivi]

I think that I've moved out from a bad situation, living with my abuser and all but I can't quite adjust and feel comfortable yet. I'm unemployed now and my partner is working hard to support me while I look for work I can do but we are in a shared house and we need our own place TBH.
So my partner is supporting me emotionally and financially at the moment. I am scared that being in close quarters with my PTSD is just one thing too much for him. The last thing I want to do is have all my anxieties and stress push him away.

 

[Deleted member 37085]

It is good that you not only are you aware of your anxiety/stress you are also concerned about your partner as well re same. You've been given some great advice here and I hope you will reflect on same. Sending hug, if you accept (hug). Jade.

 

[SeedMan]

I'm glad to read everyone's experiences, particularly those who've been on the path for a long time. Knowing there are (will be) ups and downs as one goes along gives me courage and acceptance when things take a (for the moment) nose-dive. Thank you, all.