Feeling Nervous About Doing Emdr

[Deleted member 12723]

Well I like the therapist. She is familiar with Dr. Shapiro, and was trained accordint to her techniques, so I do not feel nervous about the multiple traumas.

She answered all of my questions. She will do relaxing and grounding exercises after each session.

We made some treatment goals. It will be short term. I will see her again on the 17th of May. That will be my first treatment. The goals are to reduce or eliminate the free floating anxiety. And to eliminate the intrusive memories.

Over all I think it went very well. I feel more confident and informed about doing this. I was afraid that with the multiple traumas it would flood me with flashbacks, and body memories and the nightmares.

Thank all of you for your help, support, hope, and encouragement. Thanks for rooting me on. I had to call my sponser for help on the types of questions I asked the therapist. I will work with her very well. I have a good feeling about this now. Whew!!! What a relief. I will be getting alot out of this. It will help me.

I am very happy about this. I was so afraid. But information and knowledge is power. And I feel empowered.

 

[Chondra]

:tup: Awesome work there Gizmo

 

[piratelady]

I am so happy for you that the appointment went well and she was able to answer your questions. :D

 

[Bubba]

Oh yeah!!!! :D

I am so glad! I'm going to start EMDR as well in June. I am excited. My T said it can leave you feeling very intense at first and can drain your energy so to be prepared. She's going to do 2 back to back sessions about 4 times (two times a month), but said that after the first few sessions, I should feel a fog lifting off me and I will be me, but with more clarity and more ability to cope. I'm so excited to do this. I want to feel good again!

I am so glad you are doing this Gizmo and that you like your therapist. I know it's going to be a huge benefit for you!!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I had to cancel my appointment on May 17th, and reschedule it on May 21st. My husband has 2 days of 8 hours each medical tests for his disability insurance, I will have to be waiting for him.

I did'nt want to be sandwiched between his tests and possibly not feeling good afterwards.

I already know what memory I will deal with. I really hope this helps, as it will be short term. I do not know how many sessions I will get. I really hope it helps with the anxiety. I am disappointed that I had to cancel and reschedule but we can't rescedule his medical tests. I hope they don't cut us off, we really need the disability check.

So I have to wait. I find it is hard to wait. I will have to find myself some diversions and distractions. Thanks for encouraging me to do this. I really appreciate this so much.

 

[Nicolette]

Gizmo I have done a little of my own research and will now be doing CBT - same exposure therapy, different techniques.

I was able to actually connect a long term nightmare to an event and make logical sense of it as an adult after at least 20 years at therapy last week. I even worked out that the nightmares ceasing co-incided with an event related to the situation. I didn't go to therapy to work on that and it was only through preparation for treatment and an explanation of military versus civil PTSD (to understand Anthony) that it just fell into place.

My advice to you - don't worry about it, don't plan anything other than to go in and be open minded. What will happen will happen and in the meantime worry serves no purpose. We also don't know how they will address issues so if you plan to go in with 'a memory' but the approach is different or ends up being something else I don't think it's good for you to then be disappointed.

Let the professionals do their job and you do yours. I was told writing a list of the multiple traumas (which I too have) helps and then grade them in terms of which is most significant and then give that to the therapist. That may not be how it works where you are getting treated so perhaps it might be a worthwhile investment just calling and asking if there is any preparation you can do or anything they require you to bring?

Good luck.

 

[Chondra]

My advice to you - don't worry about it, don't plan anything other than to go in and be open minded. ...
Let the professionals do their job and you do yours.

Good advice. They work hard, but the real heavy lifting is still done by the client.

...it might be a worthwhile investment just calling and asking if there is any preparation you can do or anything they require you to bring?

Being prepared is good and it can help to have something to do while you wait. But inevitably, my T zeroes in on what specific trauma is bubbling closest to the surface at the time of the appointment. It is a bit uncanny how she always knows.:tdown:

 

[PTSD sufferer]

Hi Gizmo,

I am so happy that your first appointment worked out and I will be thinking of you when you start your first EMDR session on the 27th.

I have had similar experiences to Angel Keeper with my EMDR, and the after effects for me were not so bad. It was actually very, very liberating for me. I agree whole heartedly with what Angel Keeper has said, she has so much wisdom.

The memory is less important than how the memory makes us feel. It is the feelings that EMDR focuses on and EMDR is there to reduce the emotional / anxiety connection the brain has created because of the trauma. My brain is ok by the way and I have had multiple traumatic experiences.

We determine the most distressing memory to target so that we can address the feelings attached to it that causes us anxiety. It is good that you are able to identify your most distressing memory to target, try not to go over it too much before EMDR though, as going over it may increase your anxiety in the meantime, ok.

On a side note, be aware of 'predictive worry cycles', it is something that I do all the time and have had to really work on. I try to predict the future as bleak and that things will go wrong, and in doing so I remember all the times things went wrong and I raise my own anxiety. When we raise our anxiety like this we become unwell again. So effectively I make myself unwell through 'predictive worrying'. Just something to think about as it helped me to understand and put some energy into squashing this behaviour in myself.

I am so glad that you have clicked with the EMDR Therapist. That is great news! I am so very proud of you taking this important step on your journey to healing!

All my love and hugs PS xxoo

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Nicolette, thank you for taking the time to respond. I think I really appreciate what you had to say. About keeping an open mind, to the possibilities. I will call and see if there is anything I can do to prepare. And thank you for the reminder not to worry about it. It is so true, there is nothing I can do about it anyway.

Chondra, thanks for popping in with the good words. I really appreciate it so much. Yeah I hear you that the client does the heavy lifting. I will go in and wing it. I will wait and see how it goes, wihout too many hopes and expectations.

ptsd sufferer, thank you for taking the time to write me back. I appreciate it. I really apprciate how you described the anxiety cycles, and I do not want to do that. I need to keep my self well. I have to have an open mind like Nicolette said, and not get my hopes up and just go through it and take a wait and see what happens attitude. I will try not to worry or horribalize. I won't should myself to death. I won't what if myself to death. Thank you so much for bringing that up about the anxiety. I need to work hard on myself in this area. I have a driving phobia, and I have been having some success without the anxiety, so If I can do that then I can surely do this with the emdr. thanks again very much.

 

[PTSD sufferer]

You have a such a great attitude Gizmo, and I believe you have had so many wonderful successes and accomplishments on your journey. Well done with your driving phobia, that is such a wonderful achievement!!! This achievement is testament to your strength, bravery and great attitude! I believe you can achieve anything because you have such a great attitude - EMDR included ;). xxoo

 

[Eleanor]

Gizmo, you are so awesome for pursuing this so bravely and thoughtfully.

I think I might just join you guys too - I share a T who does EMDR with my H. And yesterday I got so upset and really really couldn't find it in myself to be present with the fact that H was having an episode and I just got swept along in the whole yucky current of negativity. It was all about abandonment and divorce (none of the conversation about that topic made a particle of sense in retrospect) so it looks like I have some stuff to work on there too. I set up an appointment with the T for next Friday (this Friday if he gets a cancellation) and I'll be thinking about what memory to work on. My ex used to threaten divorce all the time to try to control me, until I told him that the next time he mentioned it I was DOING it, whether he wanted me to or not.:( And then he stopped.:mad: Clearly, this is my issue and so I'd best get it coped with. Clearly it is a hot button of mine, and its time for it to go.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

PTSD sufferer- Wow!!!! your gracious words just blew me away. I think I will hang onto them as I go through this experience. Thank you for the fresh hope, encouragement and support. It really means so very much to me.

Thank you is all I have, it feels so inadaquate/ but it is all I have. I will keep on reading the responses to keep my spirit all charged up for the good that is going to come out of this. Hug.