Feeling Nervous About Doing Emdr

[Redd1]

I'm on a three week interval with my T. At first I was put off by it but now I like it. The first few days after are hard. However, after I get through the processing it immediately gets better. Then I can give myself time for introspection and meditation. That way the week before feels like a breathing space, a time to relax. I know you will find a way to use the interval to your benefit.

 

[BloomInWinter]

(((((((Gizmo))))))

Well done! If we are able to keep healthcare reform, then in 1 1/2 years, HMOs won't be allowed to limit appointments like they can now. ...and, there will no longer be co-pays for some mental illness diagnoses, such as depression.

I didn't think I'd ever even consider doing EMDR but everyone here who has complex trauma and has found it helpful is making me be willing to try...maybe. :>

 

[AzureMind]

First off, Kudos to everybody starting their EMDR therapy...it's a big step you're all taking, but it's a big step in the RIGHT direction guys :tup:

I'd like to start mine soon...I wonder how long a referral from my therapist would take? I've read a good deal about it, and it seems to be more effective than just treating symptoms with medication...I wonder if there's anything that can desensitize/stabilize the nervous system so a person doesn't dissociate at the drop of a dime?

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Thanks guys for the responses. I have a appointment tommorow. I am anxious to go. I have had to wait 3 weeks. They were booked up. They only have 2 therapists that do the emdr. I want to have a appointment next week and not wait again like I had to.

I did some inner child work today and ended up feeling sad and depressed but no memory. I will ask to work on that memory tommorow. It makes me feel good for a few days, but it has me feeling things, it is leaking out. I have a good grounding technique. It is really helpful. I am hoping for good results tommorow. I really like the therapist. I just hope that I do not have to wait so long for my next appointment. That was really hard to do.

 

[Nicolette]

Here is something of interest Gizmo [DLMURL]https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/wiki/eye-movement-desensitization-and-reprocessing/[/DLMURL] - specifically reference 9.

 

[woundedsoul]

Gizmo, I hope everything goes well at your appt. today. Please update and let us know.

 

[Eleanor]

Go gizmo! :tup:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Nicolette thank you very much for the information. i read it skimming it and plan to go back to it. I really appreciate the way you took the time to share this with me. Muchos Gracias:D


Woundedsoul, thanks for the kind words. I really appreciate it, alot.

Thank you eleanor for the great encouragement, this means so much to me.

I did inner child work at home this week, and I took it into emdr. I worked on the memory of when my dad was beating on me and my sibs. I realized I wanted to kill him, but made no plans to do so. I was very angry. I was horrified, and terrified. I was trying to survive it. I feel better about the whole thing. It was a really good session.

I asked her about CBT and she said that it would be good for me to do that after I finish the emdr. They have it in a group setting, which I am not all that jazzed about but will give it a go. I am glad they have it for me to use. Then I will see what they offer next, and if nothing I will find me a therapist that is familiar with ptsd.

Over all it was a great session. I am so committed to seeing this through. I like my therapist, I can talk to her about anything. She keeps telling me what a good candidate I am for the sessions. This time she tapped my hands. It worked the same. I guess my eyes tend to wander. It was a great session. I have to wait for my appointment again. They are booked up again.

I so wish i could get it once a week. but the Kaiser way is the exceedingly slow way. I just have to be patient. I have alot of journaling to do now.

 

[Eleanor]

Gizmo, I don't know if your life unfolds like H's and mine do - but it seems like when we get slowed down, or things don't go right, that there is another kind of timing at work. Not our planned timing, but timing *for* us none the less. Example: two weeks ago we were planning to go to the Exploratorium with L on Saturday and spend the night in a hotel on the Penninsula. We were going to leave about 10 to get there at noon. But it took a while to get organized to go - so it was noon before we were loading the car. My Ex called to say my cat (whom he has been caring for for the last six years) took a turn for the worse, and he was making an appointment to have her put down. :-(. Would I like to come see her? Yes, I did, and as it happened we were staying 20 minutes from his house, and we didn't have time to go to the Exploratorium that day so H and L played in the pool while I went down to say goodbye to my kitty. Perfect timing.

This kind of thing happens alot if I pay attention. Maybe it happens to you too....

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Oh Eleanor i am so sorry about your kitty. I hear yoo about the timing thing. Mabe there is a reason besides them being booked up. Mabe I need that extra time between sessions. I am feeling ok today. Yesterday I had emotional flashbacks but they passed through me and I am ok today.

Thank you Eleanor for taking the time to explain those things to me. I really appreciate it alot. There is a reason for everything and I tend to forget that. the real work of the emdr is after the session. I so want some of my memories back. I would like to know what I was thinking, feeling, and believing.

I think I could make some peace with my past if that was to happen.
so thanks Eleanor for all of your wise and helpful words. I really appreciate and treasure them. Big hugs to you.

 

[Eleanor]

This might be a little off topic at first - but I'm going someplace, so bear with me...

When I was getting out of my first marriage, I did it with the realization that no one put a gun to my head and forced me into that relationship. Quite the contrary - my friends all cautioned me against it. BUT - stubborn person that I am and neuroses firing on all cylinders - In I dove. And I SHOULD have known better, really I should have. But I did it anyway. So when I decided to end it, I couldn't blame it on him - I'd made that relationship (and after 10 years, a lot of what he was) myself. If I wanted something different I had to work on me. And I noticed that the people I knew who were "working on themselves" tended to go through big traumatic things. I'm not big on drama (as we know!) so, since my T told me to ask for what I wanted, I asked that my healing be gentle.

So maybe that's what the universe has lined up for you here. A very gentle course of healing.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Oh I think so too Eleanor. Things have not been too much for me. I count myself blessed so far. My fears are unfounded. It has been very gentle. It has not been more than I can handle. I am so lucky so far. I hope it stays this way. Back in 1985 I was a basketcase and was so overwhelmned. Mabe I did the hard part already. I sure hope so. Thank you so much for telling me that. I really appreciate it so much. Big hugs.