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Feeling The Sense Of Freedom After A Horrible Month..

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J_trustno1

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After a rough month with so many things, I am happy to state that I am starting to get back on track and be myself again. I have realized that I no longer have to prove people wrong to put myself in more misery. Yes, I was in bad depression till yesterday but having a close look at my options and things I need to work on made me realise that I exist in my body not someone elses . I am free to make decisions for myself and be happy with who I am other than asking people for making decisions for me.

I was about to make wrong decisions till yesterday by falling into a trap of arranged marriage but I am finally in my senses now. I feel that this is my life and I don't owe to anyone else but myself. So I am ready to be me again, willing to help others when they need me except my abusers and go ahead in life. I know that I have so much to achieve in life. I have made the list of what i want to achieve in life and it is below:

1. Be happy and healthy both mentally and physically
2. Get a professional job in my field of study
3. Get therapy and overcome the issues I have
4. Get restricted and full drivers license
5. Be a good swimmer
6. Learn to play the piano and violin
7. Sea diving
8. sky diving
9. Play tennis/badminton
10. Be good at yoga
11. Study PhD in chemical Engineering (specializing in Plastics, I'll leave this to the time and do it when i return to university)
12. oh,, i nearly forgot, martial arts for my own safety
13. I want to find the Mr Right and learn Salsa dance with him because I don't want learn it with any random dude
14. Have a child and be a good mother. I want to be able to give my time to my children so they don't crave and suffer from parents attention. I want to keep them away from my abusers and in fact the city I was abused in. They will be my best friends and I will try my best to provide them with the best education and morals as I can. I will teach them the value of love, respect and time not materialistic things. I will teach them to be good human beings and will teach them to be kind. I will want them to have high self-esteem and great confidence which I lacked in my childhood and even till now. I want a friendship with my children not treating them like I own them but teach them ethics.

This is the list of things I want to achieve in few years to come. The first four are the ones that I want to achieve within this year and for the later ones, I will keep working hard at them. There is a lot more I want to achieve but for now these are some of my goals that i want to achieve within 10 yrs from now :)

Thanks for reading this :) and thanks to all who were there to help me out yesterday when I was emotionally down. Lastly, thanks to the owners of this forum who have provided such a great supporting network for us to benefit from. Love you all and hugs to everyone who has read this :)
 
Yay for you!!!
Things I try to live by:
Always be true to yourself, the only person you'll have to look in the eye for life is yourself! (this is a hard one for me)
Never explain yourself - your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe you anyway.
My law of interaction - there is no law stating you must interact with people you dislike, if you are in a professional field and must interact with someone nasty keep it civil and as short and to the point as possible. (A hard one for me as well as I always feel guilty for not giving a 3rd, 4th, 5th, 1000th chance...)
 
@ChasingMyTail : thanks for the reply. Yes you are very right. I almost fell for crap on Friday when I went to abusers house for lunch. I was made to feel inadequate for being single and jobless. As a result I almost fell for arranged marriage crap by telling my mother to look for a guy which I am no where near. I am no where near having sex with anyone or for any relationship. I know I want one but I am just not ready. I am glad that I have realised the reality after so many days of suffering and not falling into the same pattern of proving them wrong. Finally in peace and can sleep better tonight.
 
No more lunches at their house! These people sound like the types who need to make others miserable because they are unhappy in their own lives.
Just keep on track and keep on trucking - you are doing something with your life, they can't say the same :) You will be the winner in the long term - one day you'll bump into mr. right - and he will be light years better than mr. right-now :)
 
Aww.. hugs @ChasingMyTail . Yes, no more lunches or dinners at their places anymore. I've learned a great lesson. I knew something horrible would happen but not what happened this time. Oh well, we only learn from our mistakes. Yup, you are totally right about them and Mr. right. I'm leaving it all on time and there is no hurry to find a guy right. my entire focus is on finding a job.
 
@jess_trustno1, I'm glad you hear you are in a better place, emotionally, today!
I must agree with @ChasingMyTail - no more lunches (or any other meals or occasions) at their house! I realize that they are (biological) family, but that does not mean you must interact with them or subject yourself to their judgement and insults/put downs.
So - I recommend you only surround yourself with positive and supportive people! (As much as you are able to control. I realize we don't always have total control over this, example - coworkers, bosses, peers, teachers/professors).

Sorry to ramble on, I'm just glad you are feeling better!

Hugs to you! :)
 
Wow! I'm so happy to see you make a set of goals! You appear to be in a much better place right now, and that's so awesome!

Now I'm thinking that I need to write down my goals. They're in my head but I think they need to be written down. Thanks for the inspiration!
 
After the death of my husband almost a year ago, I have had to start over and build a new life. I am so happy where I am right now.

As for long term goals, I am fifty nine years old and try to take it a day at a time.

I try to find things to celebrate.

I love my family and my friends. They mean so much to me.

This is a really great thread. Mabe later on at some point I will make some long term goals. Right now I am busy just enjoying my new life.
 
These all seem like great goals! I am sure you will be able to achieve each and every one of them! Remember to take some time to celebrate the small successes you have. Like getting up in the morning, living, and breathing, and being able to be who you are!

Congratulations on getting to the place you are today! I wish you the best of luck!
 
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