General Feeling Trapped....and Guilty

[ms.bleeding_heart]

Hi readers,
This my first post outside of the intro. A quick BG:

DH and I are mid 20's. For this site's purpose, I am both a sufferer and supporter. I experienced trauma in early childhood and pre adolescence. Major onset was around age 15-16. I was diagnosed around that time with PTSD and then BiPolarII almost 3+ yrs. ago. At that point I was unable to work and began claiming disability.

DH also suffered trauma but went undiagnosed until this year since his trauma was not typical( PDOC's words). He experienced abuse in the form of neglect and rejection. Repeatedly.

Currently he is off work and experiencing TERRIBLE withdrawal symptoms partly due to no insurance for meds and poor doctor decisions. He is with a new PDOC now but is still withdrawaling. Before this doctor he was being very violent and abusive toward me. Now with different meds, he is restless, physically ill and extremely anxious. When I leave and return home, he is always a mess.

I dont really know what Im looking for here. I guess just an available, understanding eye and a kind word. I've called the doc a few times and have just been told to wait it out. I'm feeling very triggered and just pretty sad. My guilt is just awful because sometimes I dont want to get him a drink in the middle of the night...or watch him pace through the house. I wish I could take him to the hospital but where I live, there are very few options and you have to be psychotic, suicidal or homicidal to be admitted.

 

[amethist]

The best thing you can do at the moment is to reassure him that in time things will get better.

Be there for him to talk, listening without commenting can make a lot of difference, letting him let it out just for the sake of it.

Taking care of yourself while all this is going on is important.

 

[Bilby]

Do you have support by way of therapy for yourself? I think this is crucial for you - particularly as you suffer from PTSD as well. Being a supporter is a different role, but you are 'playing' both (for want of a better term).

B x

 

[ms.bleeding_heart]

Thank you for the resposnses. I do see a therapist, although it is less frequent that I prefer. I will increase visits once I get assistance.

UPDATE: Took DH to T and Pdoc this week. I felt some real reassurance from T regarding the withdrawal symptoms. It was good to know they are not permanent and I'm not exaggerating them.