Relationship Fiancee Had An Outburst And Ended Up Arrested...

[Deleted member 17302]

My fiancee came back after her last episode where she left me for some dude from her group therapy. We worked through some issues she was having and we were getting things back on track when today she had a massive episode that ended up with her getting arrested and me getting punched in the face.

We had roommates and they messed with her things when she was gone and so we were kicking them out. They weren't leaving fast enough for her and so she freaked out that they hadn't taken their fish tank with them when they last were there. So she ends up yelling at me and saying she was going to leave or she would put the tank outside the door and then changed it to breaking the fish tank. I was trying to keep her from doing anything destructive by blocking the way to the fish tank or the room with a bunch of her things.

She had cut herself the day before on her wrist and I should have just taken her to the hospital. I promised her I wouldn't if she promised to go through with the counceling and other things that would help her condition. She promised that the next time she had an outburst / episode that she would just go sit in the bedroom and calm down or talk to me about it. Well that didn't happen.

So she ended up grabbing a heavy mug from our living room and smashing a hole through the fish tank but not before first punching me in the face.

Today has been a really bad day.

Will the cops make sure she gets mental care because of the wrist cutting?

I'm really worried for her. These actions are so much different than the girl I knew before our child died. She would not have done anything like this before that and now she has just been going off the deep end hard. I'm affraid for her life.

I'm having a hard time dealing with this. I can't see her die. That would just ruin me more than I already am.

 

[Bilby]

I really don't know if the police will do this or not. Did you express your concern to them, with regard to her mental health? Is she still with the police? Perhaps it might be worthwhile contacting them to express your concern and get their advice?

She needs serious help and quickly - right now it sounds as though she is danger not only to herself, but to others as well.

 

[Toria]

Oh Mr Smith - I am so sorry. I cannot offer you any advice as it sounds as if we are in different countries but I agree with Bilby - you need to speak to the police and let them know exactly what has been going on and why. I hope this doesn't sound harsh, but she could be in the best place at the moment IF she is getting the mental health care she so obviously needs. My Dad had my Mum "sectioned" when I was 11. It was traumatic (pardon the choice of word) all round - but she got the help she needed, my dad got the rest he needed and me? Well, I'm still here!

Sending you every best wish...

 

[amethist]

I think Toria has said it all there.

Except to remember that you are not responsible for her actions, however much they reflect on you.

Take care of yourself and get your breath back.

 

[Deleted member 17302]

I told the officer that was arresting her. Not sure if it helps or not. He said they have a councelor and that she will have to see that councelor. Will they do anything when they see the cut marks?

 

[Deleted member 17302]

Also something that doesn't make sense to me is that they sat outside the apartment for like an hour instead of just putting her in the car and driving away. I don't understand that part.

 

[Deleted member 17302]

Yay!!! I got my fiancee out of jail because she called me and she realized she did really bad things and really needed help because she never wants to end up in jail or doing these things anymore. She was admitted to an inpatient program at a hospital that tends to have a very good pychiatric program. I really hope this helps get her set. Also met a very nice councelor lady that would be willing to meet with her for free and help her out. Also getting her meds straightened out and she now trusts me 100% she says and knows that I am just trying to get her help. She is mad at her family for being upset with me and knows that I am just on her side trying to get her well. Today is such a good step in the right direction.

 

[Bilby]

That's good news - I really hope this is the step in the right direction that she desperately needs and that it helps you both get back on track. :)

 

[amethist]

Good luck Mr Smith.

A long road ahead of you both, but a good starting point.

 

[Deleted member 17302]

I went to visit her. Her doctor said she doesn't have ptsd even though we know she does. He believes PTSD isn't a real thing. Well, that program isn't going to work out. Plus, their program layout is terrible. I really don't like how our country is setup with all this stuff. If this is how we are setup, it is no wonder why we have so many people not getting the help they need. I'm dissapointed in the amount of actual care and thought they put into these programs.

I really think that we as a people should rise up as civilians and do more of what the operator of this website has done and create our own programs that actually work. This isn't the first time I have run into this either.

 

[Bilby]

Which country are you in (if you don't mind me asking - feel free to ignore if you prefer)?

I'm sorry to hear this is happening - not good at all......

Take a look at the recommended books for this website - I am reading one and it is really good.

 

[Deleted member 17302]

USA. IL specificially. Is there anything on this forum about coping strategies and ways to process traumatic events and possibly anything else that is a need to know about getting her PTSD worked through and managable?