- Post starter
- #37
JimmyJames902
Bronze Member
Hey Wattle:
When I'm feeling freightened (which is alot of the time lately), I hide at home too, avoiding and isolating. My apartment is my "safe place;" no one can hurt me, attack me, etc. About half the time, I even have a problem answering the phone. I let the answering machine take the message, then I play back the message, and if its someone whom I feel is safe, I'll call them back. I'm embarrased to admit that when I'm in full-blown freak-out mode, I have let the answering machine pick-up all my calls for a week, and if I'm still in freak-out mode by weeks end, I will simply hit the "erase" button and lose as many as thirty messages.
Your description of the freeze response is right on the mark. It is a very strange feeling when you can't move, can't speak, can't turn away; it truly is a "freeze." When the incident has passed, I often think about what I would have liked to have said, and on occasion I'll have an imaginary conversation with the person who threatened me. I try to remember what I said, so that I might be able to use those words the next time it happens for real. But when the next confrontation/threat actually occurs, I can't remember the words.
My guess is that the "freeze" response is a sub-set of the "flight" response. Or at least closely related. I keep telling myself that when I absorb an unwarranted attack I'm not a coward, I'm just not well. But most men are cuturally conditioned to believe that showing fear is the equivalent of cowardice. Maybe that's why I identify with the Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of Oz...
What makes the Hottentot so Hot ??
What puts the Ape in Apricot ??
Whadda they got that I ain't got ??
Courage (you can say that again).
When I'm feeling freightened (which is alot of the time lately), I hide at home too, avoiding and isolating. My apartment is my "safe place;" no one can hurt me, attack me, etc. About half the time, I even have a problem answering the phone. I let the answering machine take the message, then I play back the message, and if its someone whom I feel is safe, I'll call them back. I'm embarrased to admit that when I'm in full-blown freak-out mode, I have let the answering machine pick-up all my calls for a week, and if I'm still in freak-out mode by weeks end, I will simply hit the "erase" button and lose as many as thirty messages.
Your description of the freeze response is right on the mark. It is a very strange feeling when you can't move, can't speak, can't turn away; it truly is a "freeze." When the incident has passed, I often think about what I would have liked to have said, and on occasion I'll have an imaginary conversation with the person who threatened me. I try to remember what I said, so that I might be able to use those words the next time it happens for real. But when the next confrontation/threat actually occurs, I can't remember the words.
My guess is that the "freeze" response is a sub-set of the "flight" response. Or at least closely related. I keep telling myself that when I absorb an unwarranted attack I'm not a coward, I'm just not well. But most men are cuturally conditioned to believe that showing fear is the equivalent of cowardice. Maybe that's why I identify with the Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of Oz...
What makes the Hottentot so Hot ??
What puts the Ape in Apricot ??
Whadda they got that I ain't got ??
Courage (you can say that again).