Thornyrose
Bronze Member
Hi to everyone;
I've been reading some of the forum posts over the last couple of weeks and have finally got brave enough to sort-of introduce myself. I'm 26yrs old, female, diagnosed with supposedly 'Chronic' PTSD about 8 months ago.
I want to explain properly why I have PTSD, but also want to be sure that only people who suffer from PTSD/members can see it (can I do this?), as I am worried about people I know reading it and recognising me - there are too many secrets in my life, many of which would only damage people if they came out now. (Sorry that's a bit rambling / cryptic sounding!)
I suppose I know no different to having PTSD as I have almost no memories prior to the age of about eleven, except for one horrible incident witnessed as a small child, which I used to remember in full technicolour with vivid surround sound at random, whilst reality became background 'static'.
I've had some 'REM / Rewind' treatment on this which means that I don't get it so much at random, and it hurts less to think about. But its still there, annoyingly.
I have major issues with memory and sleep. I get short, horrible flashback type memories and really difficult to cope with fight-or-flight type reactions.
I dont think it is really 'chronic' PTSD (I'm not a soldier and have never been in a warzone) but I guess they call it that when you've had it for years.
I can seem unpredictable, am prone to depression and isolating myself. I've lost nearly all of my friends.
I work, and cling to the idea that I can get rid of PTSD and build a career.
I have to try really hard to hide my problems around colleagues, which is extremely difficult sometimes.
So I am here because I am struggling lots (sounds like I am not alone though) and want some support. I have good days and bad.
Today is somewhere closer to bad than good because once again I am getting absolutely zero rest when I attempt to sleep. I'm waking up exhausted and unable to formulate a coherant thought. Anyone else get this?
I sort of float around like a zombie pushing aside anything close to an emotion or thought - which sounds much more zen-like than it feels and means I 'loose' huge chunks of time, and then berate myself for being so useless.
Anyway, if nothing else it helps to read this site and not feel like a total alien.
All of which is a long way to say hello.
So, hello!
TR
I've been reading some of the forum posts over the last couple of weeks and have finally got brave enough to sort-of introduce myself. I'm 26yrs old, female, diagnosed with supposedly 'Chronic' PTSD about 8 months ago.
I want to explain properly why I have PTSD, but also want to be sure that only people who suffer from PTSD/members can see it (can I do this?), as I am worried about people I know reading it and recognising me - there are too many secrets in my life, many of which would only damage people if they came out now. (Sorry that's a bit rambling / cryptic sounding!)
I suppose I know no different to having PTSD as I have almost no memories prior to the age of about eleven, except for one horrible incident witnessed as a small child, which I used to remember in full technicolour with vivid surround sound at random, whilst reality became background 'static'.
I've had some 'REM / Rewind' treatment on this which means that I don't get it so much at random, and it hurts less to think about. But its still there, annoyingly.
I have major issues with memory and sleep. I get short, horrible flashback type memories and really difficult to cope with fight-or-flight type reactions.
I dont think it is really 'chronic' PTSD (I'm not a soldier and have never been in a warzone) but I guess they call it that when you've had it for years.
I can seem unpredictable, am prone to depression and isolating myself. I've lost nearly all of my friends.
I work, and cling to the idea that I can get rid of PTSD and build a career.
I have to try really hard to hide my problems around colleagues, which is extremely difficult sometimes.
So I am here because I am struggling lots (sounds like I am not alone though) and want some support. I have good days and bad.
Today is somewhere closer to bad than good because once again I am getting absolutely zero rest when I attempt to sleep. I'm waking up exhausted and unable to formulate a coherant thought. Anyone else get this?
I sort of float around like a zombie pushing aside anything close to an emotion or thought - which sounds much more zen-like than it feels and means I 'loose' huge chunks of time, and then berate myself for being so useless.
Anyway, if nothing else it helps to read this site and not feel like a total alien.
All of which is a long way to say hello.
So, hello!
TR
