I've been away from the forum for quite a while, mostly because I haven't been giving myself time to do anything. I wanted to share today though that a few weeks ago I hit my rock bottom. I was losing all sorts of sleep and becoming all kinds of depressed, and that led to some really poor performance at work, resulting in me getting terminated. I've never been fired before, and this had a big impact, especially with how many financial struggles I've been having.
My gut-shot reaction was to blame my sufferer's alcoholism creating a negative environment in the home. But rather than dwelling on that, I decided to finally get myself to an Al-Anon meeting. It has been life-changing. I realized just how much of the home's toxicity was my own contribution and how I can be in control of my own destiny if I'm willing to let go of trying to rescue my sufferer (or 'qualifier' in Al-Anon speak).
I still don't have a new job yet, but I'm hopeful, and it feels good to feel like I can take care of my own needs again. I've been drowning in the deep well of codependency, but I'm hopeful now that I feel like I can start pulling myself out.
I highly recommend all supporters to check out a few Al-Anon meetings if they haven't, whether or not their sufferer has a chemical dependency. It has been an eye-opening experience that has made me reflect on a lot of poor decisions I've had throughout my entire life, and it makes me not only capable of being a better partner, but just a better person in general.
My gut-shot reaction was to blame my sufferer's alcoholism creating a negative environment in the home. But rather than dwelling on that, I decided to finally get myself to an Al-Anon meeting. It has been life-changing. I realized just how much of the home's toxicity was my own contribution and how I can be in control of my own destiny if I'm willing to let go of trying to rescue my sufferer (or 'qualifier' in Al-Anon speak).
I still don't have a new job yet, but I'm hopeful, and it feels good to feel like I can take care of my own needs again. I've been drowning in the deep well of codependency, but I'm hopeful now that I feel like I can start pulling myself out.
I highly recommend all supporters to check out a few Al-Anon meetings if they haven't, whether or not their sufferer has a chemical dependency. It has been an eye-opening experience that has made me reflect on a lot of poor decisions I've had throughout my entire life, and it makes me not only capable of being a better partner, but just a better person in general.
