Sexual Assault Flashback i think???

[cntrymom08466]

I don't know if it was a flashback or what happened. But I am a mother of an adult now, but my oldest and youngest daughter but mostly oldest was sexually abused by their bio father. I was molested when I was 11 years old and my mother did nothing about it. Covered it up, so to speak. Then was forced to give a blow job to a guy when I was 15 at a party one night. Never told anyone. I knew the kids' father from the time I was 18 and he was 25. Through many years of therapy later I have found he manipulated me and mentally and emotionally abused me. When I say that I feel like I'm making an excuse for myself for not seeing what was going on? I don't know, I still feel guilty.

What happened last night, my oldest daughter and her 4 year old son live with me and my now husband of 12 years. I went to ask her a question and opened her door to her room and my grandson and her were just laying on the bed doing nothing and all of a sudden I felt like they were doing something wrong. It just scared me. I asked her rather loudly, what are you doing. It was just a very intense feeling. This child is a very outgoing happy child. He knows his private areas and everything. I don't know what came over me. Is that also a flashback?

 

[Justmehere]

Flashbacks are dissociative events where one actually re-lives the trauma and acts as if the past is happening again right now, without connection to the here and now.

In this situation, it seems more like fears of harm were triggered and you had an impulsive reaction to keep everyone safe. You were still connected to the here and now, so no, not quite a flashback.

 

[cntrymom08466]

It sure was a scary feeling and I think I freaked my daughter out too. :(

 

[grit]

When a feeling is too intense to make sense with what the eyes actually saw, then most likely it was a flashback.

You are not saying you "saw" a definite something happening. You said "I felt like they were doing something wrong." Seeing vs. Feeling. A seeing is here and now - a real thing is happening. A feeling could be here and now too but a feeling could also be from the past. So you cannot really see the past in here and now. You can only feel it. So which one is it? Now that you are back in here and now. What are you feeling about this?

This is a very serious allegations to contemplate because it involves a child.

Now, I wonder though do you have a good relationship with your daughter? I am only asking because the way you interacted with her there, provided nothing was happening, may cause some rupture or at minimum, it demonstrates some family dynamics that are not conducive to healing the relationship.

I also want you to be really aware about what you said, "They were doing something wrong?" A child does not do 'things'. Things ARE DONE TO children. So now that you have had time to think and reflect, please think cautiously what you are saying or trying to convey.