Childhood Forgetting My Abuser's Face?

[Stills]

His face was clear. His face is starting to become unclear. Am I starting to somehow forget? I can't even let myself feel what I know I'm going to need to later on because I can't let myself go there right now, so does that mean I'm blocking it out again? I'm just getting more and more confused!!!!!!

 

[joeylittle]

Have you been working on processing your trauma? As memories get reincorporated into your past, instead of flaring in the present (like they do with PTSD), it's pretty normal for details to start becoming hazy. It's disorienting, but not actually bad - it means you are recovering.

When I go back to tell my therapist a portion of my narrative that we've processed, I'm still surprised that I'll start to forget small details. Part of me wants to hold onto them. But, they are actually doing what they should do: they are melting into the past, where they belong.

 

[Sideways]

Exactly what @joeylittle said. Maybe it might bring you some relief if you let it - not having the image of his face in the front of your mind.

 

[Stills]

Have you been working on processing your trauma? As memories get reincorporated into your past, in...

I have not processed my trauma with a counsellor yet. I have spoken about it with others. I have no idea when it'll come back up prominently, I just try not to think about it as it makes me hazy and feel slow and unable to think and speak clearly. I feel like my brain is deteriorating. This is very new to me, so I'm still waiting for a call back.