From Childhood.. Hope This Isn't Too Long

[unknown]

Just thought I would say hi, as I am also new here. Wow, you have had a hard time, I am sorry to hear what has happened to you. Hope you find some good support here. :)

Kate

 

[Sterre]

Hii Jasmin,

I just read your introduction post above and it touched me deeply. What you’ve gone through is horribly and pain full. The isolation, the neglect, the abandonment, the responsibility you felt for her, the abuse. It’s just way to much weight for the little kid you were.

Unfortunately I can very much relate to some of the things you describe. My biological father suffers from paranoid schizophrenia, and bi-polar disorder.( how many diagnoses can one have?) Although my father and I have some similar symptoms, like depression for instance, I’m not schizophrenic in any way, and I don’t think I ever will become schizophrenic.

Right now I feel frustrated that I’m not able to express myself as elaborate as I want to (because of the language barrier), to tell you that I think I know ( or can relate to) how you must feel sometimes.

I have to keep my words simple otherwise I would be unreadable, and you would have no idea of what I am trying to say.
So, to keep it simple: I followed the link to your website. The one with your artwork, and I think you are a real good artist. Your work is uncomfortable, personal, interesting and original, just as I think good art should be:)! I can only imagine that you as a person must have the same qualities that show trough your artwork.( and uncomfortable must be read as a compliment! Uncomfortable as in layered, no “easy/smooth” work.)

Just remember that you are not your mother! I doubt if she had the awareness, or capacity to reflect and analyse her problems, as well as you can.
Maybe you are bi-polar, there are many degree’s in being bi-polar. Being bi-polar doesn’t make you a paranoid schizophrenic. Feeling/being isolated and experiencing controlling thoughts doesn’t make you a schizophrenic either!

I hope you will find some relief on this forum!

 

[Nicolette]

Hi Sterre

The font size issue is due to copying and pasting into the forum from an external software application other than notepad. As I am on a mobile phone I can only edit half your post due to no ability to scroll down. Once another editor comes on they can edit the balance of your post.

If you had pasted and then previewed the post you would have seen [Font] and [Size] boxes at the start and end of each paragraph.

 

[jasmin]

Thank you so much sterre. I just saw your post (still getting used to the watch this thread option). A lot of my mindset has changed since I first posted here. I began to see that the medication is a form of assistance through this recovery and treatment therapy. My psychologist helped me realize that I do not have a disorder, what I am going through is a reaction to trauma and certain things are necessary to help one get through and come to terms with it all.

Thank you for checking out my site and for your wonderful compliments- they mean a lot and do not worry I understood you perfectly.. I think you pinned what you needed to say precisely. Uncomfortable is perhaps the best compliment one can receive for artwork, I think you know what you're talking about. Art is about reaction I believe, both from the artist creating and from the viewer viewing.

Peas
xx