Frustrated With Life

[aka]

I just really frustrated/depressed right now. I started classes today and am already dreading the rest of the semester. Was hoping that my roommates in the house I rent in would clean up the main floor over break. Instead the place is worst than when I left for winter break. There is trash and clothes all over the floor, the kitchen has nothing but dirty dishes everywhere, and the backroom has a pile of filled trash sacks of garbage. The backroom also smells very bad because of the garbage and the overfilled litter box that is back there. I am not a "neat freak" but I do like having some kind of order and cleanliness to a house.

This added to being the second year in a row I have been declined the opportunity to even interview for vet school has left me extremely frustrated with college in general. I am just so tired of pushing myself to get new experiences and or to socialize with fellow classmates. There seems to be no benefit from the extensive amount of energy used to cope with these events. I end up where I started, studying alone and having no good friends.

Overall I am just frustrated with everything whether it be classmates, society, teachers, and life in general. I have been telling myself for years that things will get better but they never do. The hope that things will get better is now gone and is replaced with loneliness and despair.:arghh;

Anybody else get just plain frustrated with life?

 

[saffy]

Sounds like you are having a hard time at the moment aka. sorry to hear that.

Can you find other digs to stay in? I would be pissed at living like this too, it would affect my whole work and attitude.

I am sorry to hear that you did not get into vet school. never give up trying though, this is what you want to do after all.

Having a social or recreational life while at college is important but you have to find something that relaxes you. There are no hard rules with having to join in all the social events. If you do you can pick and choose when to leave, eh.

I hope things improve for you as I feel you deserve it.

Best wishes
Saffy :)

 

[safenow]

I think once you get in clean digs you'll feel better about things. Just living like that is depressing. It effects your mind, body and spirit. To bad you can't move and leave them to their pigsty.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Hello,

I am sorry you are having a hard time. I understand what you mean and are going through. College was always difficult for me social wise and I was always intimidated that others could make friends so easily. Even with college when I feel depressed, I feel like my goals are to far away and there is no way I can reach them. Sometimes when I am down I don't take care of the house so I even know where you are coming from with the mess. A messy place to live just makes everything worse and makes you feel awful just being there.

I think taking things in baby steps is a good idea. People get ill. Have you talked to someone in your school about how you are feeling?

Best wises.

 

[p-no]

Anybody else get just plain frustrated with life?

Yes. I'd say, without being pathetic about it, it's just what I feel and think and have been thinking for a long time, that life is my trauma. It is what it is and as such it's not what I want. I mean, my life. I know it's not bad per se and I know that much of it is what everyone of us has, but way back then while I was amidst all the abuse done to me I thought I'd get out and be happy one day. Now I am still lacking what makes a life a happy one and I have no control over what I am missing. It sucks.

But that may be very different from what you are experiencing. You seem to be a lot younger so go for it! Don't give up.

Best wishes for you.

 

[Britt.f7]

Yes I get flustered. Especially if things are cluttered, dirty, and I am depressed. If I am depressed when the other things happen, I just get more depressed, then angry if I don't do something about it.

Did you talk to your roommates about the pig sty you are forced to live in? I'm a messy(not dirty) person, though contained to my room when I had roommates. Though I did have a roommate talk to me about it once, she was nice about it and I cleaned my room. Clothes everywhere and my room was right off the living area so I didn't blame her.

You have a right to live in a house that is not filthy and the way you live now could invite bugs or other unwanted critters.

Good luck to you!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Yes I get frustrated very much. I am going through it right now. I agree with the others that you need to get out of where you are staying. That is a health hazard. It would make me sick. I think that has alot to do with how you are feeling. My place needs to be dusted and vacumned and it is driving me nuts. I keep it picked up, and that helps.

I have to do something about it.

You can only do what you can do. Everyone had really good things to tell you. I agree with them. You need to get out of that place. I wish you the best in that one. I wonder if you can make a report and turn them in or would that be too big of a hassle for you? Good luck.

 

[aka]

I am sorry to hear that you did not get into vet school. never give up trying though, this is what you want to do after all.

Thanks saffy, I am going to try again next year. I just been trying to come up with a second option since I will graduate in May with a BS. I leaning towards getting a job and working for a year or two. Pay off some debt and have some off time from school.

Can you find other digs to stay in?

Yeah I could but there are two major obstacles. One being that most apartments or rooms for rent want a minimal six month contract signed and two the fact that I have a dog over the 35lb limit which is the normal weight limit for dogs. I could get around the weight limit by terming the dog a ESA (Emotional Support Animal) but with me graduating in May I can't sign a six month or year contract seeing as I not likely to find a job in this town.

College was always difficult for me social wise and I was always intimidated that others could make friends so easily. Even with college when I feel depressed, I feel like my goals are to far away and there is no way I can reach them.

This is exactly the way I feel, I try to talk to people but never seem to be able to make a connection. Or I don't read the social ques right and I end up getting seen as weird. Either way the majority of the students here have tight social circles and are not very interested in making new friends outside those circles.

Have you talked to someone in your school about how you are feeling?

Nope, I am not big on sharing ones life story. I find it complicates relationships since most people don't know anything true about a mental disorder. I admit that I have trust issues and I do go back to my home town every week to see my T.

Did you talk to your roommates about the pig sty you are forced to live in?

I going to have to because I can't take take it anymore. It's really starting to have very negative effects on my emotional health. Need to find the courage to talk to them since I seem to prefer to just ignore them and the messy house hoping it will go away (bad way of coping).

 

[KatB]

Hi. I relate to your feelings very well. I understand what you are going through. You definitely need a place that's clean for yourself. But, also a space where it's not chaotic or tense. I am saying that b/c I am certainly in that stuck position. I am very frustrated but just plain worn out. I am simply worn out and to add to that, the long nights of insomnia has taken a toll, emotionally and physically. God, what a nightmare!

Are you living in a place where the environment is unstable?

 

[saffy]

but with me graduating in May

Frustrating as it is, all I can suggest is:
a) remember why you are there, you are not there to party or make life long friends. I never when I went to UNI, it is ok :)
B) May will come around really quickly, spend the time to really go over your work or look for jobs or look for places you will want to go to after May.
C) Good luck for your graduation, not long now and it will all be over and you can move on to a better life.

You have actually really come a long way and it is nearly the start of another new life path chosen by you :)

It will seem like a bad time now but it will get better for you when you are in a better place :) It is very bad fengshui to live in mess as it causes chaos :)

We are all here for you if you need respite from your environment.

Best wishes
Saffy :)

 

[MissMacD]

I lived with students for the first 4 years that I moved to a big city. I found it really stressful too to live with people who didn't clean up after themselves and left big piles of dishes and messes everywhere. Some people just aren't bothered by messes but to me it bothers my well being. My living space has to be in a certain order for me to feel comfortable in it and when other people are constantly messing it up and leaving it I feel like I have to clean it up - then it makes me hostile towards the other roommates.

I now live on the outskirts of the city in a big old apartment building with my boyfriend. I have my own room here so it's nice and quiet and tidy. Having a place that you can call home that is your own is very important. If you really need something reach out to the universe and it will eventually come.