Functioning = Must Not Be That Bad

[Reclusive]

I completely understand what you're talking about. I worked for 7 years with behavioral health professionals and they were all shocked when I melted down and was diagnosed with depression. I really felt it was a stupid diagnosis because I'd been functioning so well - going to work, running errands, paying bills, going to the gym, going out with friends, all that 'normal' stuff. A year later I had another meltdown and am no longer functioning and am diagnosed PTSD. The shame that comes with that is tremendous and hard to work through.

You should be proud of yourself for being able to function as well as you do but please don't let it invalidate how you feel to yourself. And unsupportive people suck, but they're out there and they're part of what we have to deal with. You're strong, you're seeking treatment, and you're still here. That's accomplishing a whole lot and you deserve to get credit for it.

 

[brokenchild]

I just wanted to come back and update you all. Thank you all so much for reading/replying. I'm still not doing so well but I am hanging in there I guess.

I just got back from therapy and talked about the functioning/suicidal thinking dichotomy as well as some things from my past. It was nice to get it out there.

We also talked about my lack of feelings and it's something we're going to work on, getting that mind/body connection that I never developed. That will help in other areas as well, such as hopefully not being chronically constipated.

Thanks again everyone.

 

[BloomInWinter]

(((brokenchild)))

 

[cherryblossom]

Just to say thanks for letting us know you are ok. Well done for getting your thoughts out in therapy. It's tough, very, I know. Take very good care of yourself.