Military Funny At The Time.......until Later

[Airborne86]

Let me start by saying my punctuation is horrible....so bear with me.

The date is not important although I remember the day and time very well....
For some odd reason
It was like any other day in Iraq......the day on the PB started off like any other grab an MRE then do some squad PT and get ready to go on patrol.
After getting in full battle rattle and loading up I remember thinking (no mortars or pop shots last night maybe "haji" is going to take the day off)
After leaving the relative safety of our Hesco barriers and Battle positions we drove around the city for awhile finally ending up in a market place on the east side of the city..... on this particular day we had the chaplain with us who was a nerdy college graduate who had been commissioned an officer (Lt) in the US Army and he spoke Arabic which was convenient but also a huge hinderance..... the entire company complained that when he would go out with us he would let groups of people get way too close....which is a serious problem....
But to get back on subject we dismounted our vehicles because the Chaplin and all his infinite wisdom decided he wanted to talk to a small group of individuals well that small group slowly grew to about 40 to 50 people which was a big problem because we were totally outnumbered we had 15 men (chaplain including) the 3 vehicles we had were equipped with crew served weapons but still out numbered
About 15 minutes had passed and the chaplain and another sergeant were talking to this one individual
I was pulling security and trying to keep people away.....and this one boy caught my attention...... everything about him was wrong (the look on his face... his eyes everything about him felt wrong)...... I watched him forced himself through the crowd (I vividly remember getting a tighter grip on my weapon and putting my finger in the trigger well and thinking here we go this is what I trained for)
There were two gentlemen standing directly across from me about 20 feet away wearing what we like to call man dresses when the boy approached closer he stuck his hands in between those two gentlemen to push his way through to get closer to us ....I saw in his right hand something the size of a baseball and green my immediate thought was it's a fragmentation grenade I yelled FRAG!
At this point my weapon was already raised I looked him directly in the eye and yelled *la tetharek la tetharek Ogaf Ogaf* don't move, don't move, stop, stop.... I remember him trying to take one more step towards me at this point my weapon was on single round I fired 2 rounds both rounds impacting his face I didn't see him but sgt B was next to me and had his weapon on the three round burst and put three rounds into his chest the entire crowd scattered at this point everything was chaos for the first couple of seconds we were trying to figure out what was going on and if there were anyone else that wanted to do something stupid....
I remember being on my knee and checking rooftops and windows the boy cringed a little bit and kind of let out a weird sound I remember standing up and walking over to him
standing there with Sgt B we watched this boy die I vividly remember his eyes the fear that he felt I felt it too.......and in that moment I laughed at him and joked with sgt B about this life I had just taken to this day I still don't understand the reason I laughed but I found during my entire deployment every time I had to expedite someone's life I laughed.....I guess it was funny at the time but now I feel numb to so many things that use to make feel part of humanity I don't see people the same way nor do I value life as much as I should....... and in a big way it has affected my life and relationships
I can be very cold to the ones I love I don't mean to but it's not something that I think I can never get back.....

 

[Friday]

Any time I can find the funny? It's gonna be alright. Completely f*cked sideways, maybe, but alright.

When I stop laughing? Danger Will Robinson, shit just got serious, and I better get yanked up on outta that right quick. Don't care how, really, or why... But someone better smack some life back into things, like yesterday, or I will not be fit company. To myself or anyone else. Laissez le bon temps rouler. Fierce joy, laughter, release. Need these things like air.

Shrug. IDK. This shit is just so damn painful that without the joy to temper it, the stillness to balance it? No words. Just... f*ck. Words don't grab it. It's not good, can say that at least.

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

Laughter is often an automatic coping mechanism for an overly stressful situation. When you shot at the boy, that action was an automatic reaction also. Survival mechanism. Many such instances happened in the Vietnam war, where young children were used to carry live hand grenades toward American troops. War is a horrible thing, and often times senseless and painful things happen in the heat of the moment. You didn't do anything wrong. You merely reacted like anyone else would have. The incident cannot be undone, but it can be viewed in much different light, so you can slowly start to move on with your life.

 

[Gadgie]

Quote....... "standing there with Sgt B we watched this boy die I vividly remember his eyes the fear that he felt I felt it too......."

Aye! Its something you never forget when you hold someone who is dying in your arms, that look you see in their eyes stays with you for ever?

 

[anonymous]

I'm not military, but I've had this reaction to trauma.

The first time my ex-boyfriend set to work assaulting me, I couldn't stop laughing. Then I dissociated when I was raped. First reaction was laughter, though.

It's a response I still can't understand. I've had a LOT of terrible shame over it, but there it is. My last significant other was very cruel when I told him about it. He kept yelling that I should have fought, how could I laugh... But I've come to know, at least intellectually, that it was a stress response a the time.

The situation above is different, obviously, but I see a clear parallel.

I can tell this memory haunts you. I hope you will accept my saying that, to some degree, I understand. Be kind to yourself.

 

[Disgruntledgrunt1577]

I can recall laughing on a number of occasions. Most notably the seemingly hopeless ones, when CAS is still not on station, you're down to the last mag, and caught in a miserable cross fire. I remember laughing at those times. There was just nothing else to do. I mean, you come to terms with the fact that you're more than likely going to be a corpse, so f*ck. It's just funny. It's funny, the whole thing is hilarious in the moment.
I can't think of anything else worthwhile to add at the moment. It's still weird for me to be talking about this stuff with people I don't know and who weren't there with me. If that makes sense. It's not exactly something I guess you'd discuss over the dinner table with the family.

 

[ghotiff]

I think laughter is a natural response to insane situations and it facilitates a level of detachment from the reality of the situation. I think that the detachment is needed to be able to function through it.

 

[RussH]

humor and laughter are both stress relief mechanisms