Gaining Weight On Purpose...

[DMerish]

m-77,

Can you get those little water slippers - you know, the ones with the grippy soles?

 

[JustBe]

Now that I'm older I keep telling myself that age will make me "invisible" the way fat used to, but now I'm Hypothyroid, post menopause and my metabolism has slowed to a crawl so I may be stuck with Old AND Fat!:facepalm:

 

[Britt.f7]

Same here Movin On. Except not post menopausal yet. Nearly though.

 

[DharmaGirl]

What a good idea, I can't believe I didn't think of that. I love to swim and I haven't been to the pool in months! I will go tomorrow since I missed today. I feel better already! Thanks!

 

[Rissy215]

I realize this thread is pretty old but I just found and joined this site and this is one of the issues I was hoping to find help with. I intentionally gained weight in a futile attempt to stop sexual abuse when I was an adolescent and regardless of what I try I can't seem to do anything but continue to gain now. I thought once I started therapy I would start losing weight but 18 months into therapy and I've gained. I keep wondering if I'm psychologically stopping myself from losing weight to protect myself since I still carry a lot of self-blame and shame for the abuse. I think it's a big part of my current depression on top of my past. I'm so self-conscious about my weight that I've pretty much ostracized myself from being social or participating in anything around other people. So now I'm fat AND have no support network and since I gained the weight intentionally to begin with I feel very much at fault for all of it so I feel bad even asking for help from my therapist or doctors.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

To deter men I simply don't make eye contact with them or smile. Men like women who smile and look at them.

Ditto. Been doing this my whole life. And yes I've been very single for most of it.

Eye contact or smiling makes me feel vulnerable and unsafe. It's as if any recognition of the opposite sex gives them the wrong signals. A simple hello and half the time the guy thinks you're soooo into him. Puh-leez.

I lost a lot of weight, gained half of it back. I'm pushing myself to eat clean thru thanksgiving so I can lose a bit more.

 

[Philippa]

I know. I KNOW! :D It's ridiculous. I've been this way since I was 16 and a boy I said hello to (who was extremely UNattractive to me and I thought he may have had some kind of disability intellectually in fact and was being kind) took my simple friendly hello to mean that I was his girlfriend and he was therefore entitled to try and slobber all over me, kissing my neck etc. I've been told to smile by strange men in the street so many times I've lost count. How rude to tell a total stranger to smile just to make YOU happy. I am not here to make men happy. I am here to make mySelf happy...and that is the only responsability that I have in this life.

 

[saffy]

I think in the end we have to learn that it should not be the fat that protects us but our right to say no and to be respected as a person, no matter what we look like.

We must feel like we look good inside, like we are proud of who we are, flaws included. And that comes with self belief.

And that everyone is equal, no one has the right to judge or be allowed too judge others. Because what ever they say to hurt it is coming from their ego and has no reflection on you at all. No one is better or worse than us and that we have every right to look after our own needs.

These are things I learnt and I get enough strength from that to build my self esteem and set boundaries and set my own standards and with that I do not have to hide behind a body I hated. :)

Best wishes
Saffy :)