Gaslighting: Protecting Yourself

[katz]

Most of the gaslighting in my life consists of Bic lighters and beer farts..

LOL

 

[LanaD]

Btw, I finally watched the movie. Seems like one young people should watch so they have an idea of what to watch for. I wanted to punch the actor on my computer screen!

One thing that kept going through my mind, though, was that at least in the movie the psycho husband had a clear motive and an end goal, but what motives do people in real life have? It took me a while to realize that my ex was helping himself to my savings, but there was something else, though, something evil about his actions, maybe some deep-seated misogyny plus something else. Do evil people sometimes do this because of pure evil?

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Do evil people sometimes do this because of pure evil?

Im sure psyco/sociopaths do to watch the person in termoil as thats their end goal.

Ive never commented on here for a reason. But i have to say that not everyone knows that they are gaslighting or doing some form of it. Some feel they must protect themselves from everyone which to them they fear poses a threat.

Sometimes when someone walks in a room, full of fear, and feel like everyone already likes each other but you (regardless if thats true) they may exibit some form of this.

Gaslighting in its fullness is wrong and abusive and i am not saying its not. My family does it. Im just saying that not all that exibits signs of it is actually doing it. Its a judgement call for sure.

 

[Freedomfighter]

Gaslighting is a risk for those of us online and in real life, especially those using social media....

Seen that movie and this method is very often used by stalkers as well who use their friends to do that for them.
Very disturbed people indeed. Surely someone that does that is a mentally ill person to begin with.

What stalkers do out of jealousy is very hard to comprehend.

 

[Freedomfighter]

Gaslighting is a risk for those of us online and in real life, especially those using social media....

My ex is a poster child for that behavior, that is why it took me so long to realize that all of his actions were abusive, he simply denied me the truth over and over again.
There was a thread about someone on this forum that felt bad for giving out personal information to someone and was triggered by that.
Predators know that PTSD makes us very vulnerable to abuse and then we feel bad for something that is not our fault. For everyone that has ever felt that way: here it goes:
Don't beat yourself up, we all know how PTSD can influence us to make the wrong decisions, especially when it comes to guarding ourselves. I have had that problem many times, trusting other people only to find out later that they did not deserve or earn that trust. And yes respect and trust has to be earned. We had some dufus who proclaimed he was a psychologist ( probably took psychology intro once) who attempted to tell us that respect does not have to be earned.


What, he, what the .....?


Oh yes, respect does have to be earned, and not just once.... No wonder so many kids are messed up.

 

[Targeted]

Gaslighting is a risk for those of us online and in real life, especially those using social media....

I am being gaslighted by gang stalking. My father is controlling it locally but he is working with others. Someone has access to my email accounts. When I see my father he makes oblique references to email titles in my email accounts. I know he has no access to them so he must be being told what to say before I see him. He also makes oblique references to the positions I am to be moved into next - for example, one day he asked me my usual route home from the shop and the next time I went to the shop a weirdo was standing on the corner staring at me as I walked past, a never before seen thing. Anything I say to him ends up getting used against me. He flatly lies to my face. The last time he did it related to a bit of street theatre he arranged. 18 years and no food deliveries to his house. 1 week not long ago, I passed the local kebab shop owner who asked directions to number 49. Never known him to deliver anything locally ever. The next week I was at father's house. He took a call on 1 phone at the same time a call went through to his wife's phone. He handed the first phone to me, which had been hung up by the other person, whilst his wife took instructions on the other phone. At a prearranged time, father went upstairs out of the way, his wife stayed in the living and a pizza deliverer arrived at the door. No order had been placed, and see above regarding 18 years. The pizza boxes had 19 printed on them but the driver then said he made a mistake and wanted number 49 (so why call at 19 in the first place). The next week father denied it had all been a stunt and claimed it was random for the 2 events to occur 1 week after each other in 18 years, with both cases resulting in my being faced with the deliverers and both cases alleging delivery intended for 49. Now he is feeding information back to the entity capable of reducing my income in the hope of reducing it whilst collating further evidence to make out I seem mentally ill. If I say anything, he just blames me. Once I drilled something for a few minutes and it made some noise. An upstairs neighbour knocked my door so I stopped what I was doing. Father referred to it the next I saw him. He is in contact with my upstairs neighbours, telling them to do things to manipulate my environment to my detriment so that if I say anything to anyone, they will accuse me of being mentally ill but if I say and do nothing, it will get worse. He has got the local shop owners reporting back to him any movements I make. I did not visit him for a few weeks and he did not contact me to check I was okay - he waited until a form affecting my income had to be sent in then called me the day the deadline passed and I had sent nothing in - he was not interested in how I was and only wanted to extract information he could use against me regarding the source of income by feeding it back to the source to reduce what I get. That's the short story.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I am being gaslighted by gang stalking. My father is controlling it locally but he is working with others. Someone ha...

Report to the police?

 

[cat-lady]

Sounds like there is sypware on your computer based on the email stuff. See if you can get a computer professional to help you out and document as much of this stuff as you can for the police.

 

[Freedomfighter]

Gaslighting is a risk for those of us online and in real life, especially those using social media....

Oh, yeah, it took me a long time to understand that my ex was attempting that same strategy. Now stalkers are attempting to use that strategy on me, and their friends too. I am placing emphasis on the word "attempting" because that is as far as they will get, no farther than that. What I have to do is learn my own lessons, especially about people, and I will have to learn to simply filter out everyone else whom I do not want to be around with. My major problem is the fact that I used to be receptive to predators, one of the main reasons for that is because my dad, a predator himself, literally trained me to be accepting of predators and to let them do with me what they want. So that is one of the major areas I have to work on.

I have learned a lot though about that already. Someone that is not aggressive is already someone that I am much more receptive to..... And most predators have been most aggressive. And then there are people who may seem friendly and good, but it takes a long time to really figure out if some of them have something to hide or if they are wolves in sheep clothing.

At any rate, only very patient people who will really be able to prove that they do not want to hurt me will ever be able to get close enough to just be a friend.

It took me a whooping 6 years to totally trust my therapist. With the recent trigger from hell, I totally locked up and only wanted to talk to my therapist...... Alas, we live in society and we have to learn how to let good people in, while shielding ourselves from the bad ones. And that ladies and gentlemen is very very tough, especially for someone that has been trained in childhood to accept abusers.

However, I give sooooo much credit to my therapist, because he is the first person that has been able to make me trust again. I know that is a major accomplishment for him as a doctor as well as for me as a patient.

 

[abbynormal1929]

By the descrptions i'm reading my wife is gaslighting me all the time, and her mom is gaslighting her all the time, and I'm pretty sure my wife's mom's husband is gaslighting my wife's mother. I'm pretty sure I'm gaslighting myself too. I feel crazy.