Relationship Ghosting or Isolation?

Jbird

New Here
I need some input about a guy I've been seeing for about 3 months. A little background on him, he's 50 & divorced, wife left him & the kids after 25 years. He also went through a cancer scare and bad motorcycle accident while the divorce was going through and she still left without caring about him. It hit him pretty hard and took him 3 years to be in a better place emotionally. The kids are older, 17/23/27 and still living with him, he is a great father and is very grateful for them. I have ssen that he has a lot of anger and hate for the ex wife and it has been 6 years since the divorce was final.
We met online and seemed to have have great chemistry and a connection right away, our conversations are mostly through text, some phone calls. I felt connected since I also went through a breakup over a year ago, my ex left me for someone else after 15 years together and I could relate to many of his feelings. We text most days, sometimes it takes awhile for responses but I'm used to that already and we've seen each other about 5-6 times within these 3 months. He tends to cancel plans, always saying he's super busy either taking his high school son to hockey or working on house projects, etc. He opens up to me about his family, work and gives me details about his day often. We both deal with anxiety and have trouble sleeping and talk about that often, he's on medication that helps him with that and I take something every now and then at night to help me sleep. We haven't been on an official date other than meeting for drinks alone or meeting me out with with my friends. Then after new years, he ghosted me for 5 days with no notice and for no reason. He text me after the 5 days saying sorry he's been busy since going back to work and had some plumbing issues on the house. I responded in an understanding way like usual and we started talking more often again.
Then one night after going out for drinks, I drove him home and told me that he gets into these moods sometimes and will isolate and not want to leave the house or talk to anyone, except his immediate family and kids. He doesn't know why, that's just how he is and I listened with having empathy and understanding. The next day he said I hope you understand what I talked about yesterday and I said yes and thanked him for sharing with me. After another month of talking and seeing each other twice, he ghosted me again this week without notice, I text him to check in to see if he was ok and no response. It's been 5 days and still nothing.
So I'm trying to wrap my head around whether he's not that interested in me and ghosting or is it isolating due to his anxiety and other things and has nothing to do with me?
 
So I'm trying to wrap my head around whether he's not that interested in me and ghosting or is it isolating due to his anxiety and other things and has nothing to do with me?
I’d say if he keeps coming back? He’s isolating, as he explained he often does.

If he doesn’t keep coming back? Not that interested OR just that the timing is off. I can’t even begin to count the number of people I’d have loved to have either gotten to know better in general, or added to the pillars of my life… but it was a bad time to try to.

^^^Neither of which answers the more important questions, IMO.

- If the time he DOES spend with you is enough / what you want in a relationship?
- If “how” he isolates is something that works in your life?
 
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