Good Will Hunting Style Therapy

[Resilientbibliophile]

Hi,

Notwithstanding the poor relationships shown up and illuminated for the better (good!), sometimes too it's good to maintain perspective to the extent that textbook anything is derived from the assemblage of fallible people who penned the text. Authority is afforded to those we choose to regard as authorities. Psychology is still a young field, evolving in relation to much, whereas stranger still it is to read much older materials where the authority of a Freudian would demonstrably deny the validity of any other view. Yes - it takes time to recognize the outlines of select influences, the overlap of the same, affirmation of some values, the strict discounting of others. No T. emerges out of the bottom of a vending machine in a sealed bag. A boring truism this, but the only certainty in life is uncertainty...

As a short example of a field in flux and meshed to cultural norms likewise shifting, sample works that speak of the worth or advisability of administering psych. drugs to children. This is a hot and heady debate, whereas who might define what constitutes the threshold of illness? Is a conception of difference too difficult to register on the part of the larger society, while what currents so visible now will recede to be replaced with other concerns destined to be regarded as both essential and vital? One can shop for an authority, but perhaps better it is to take an ownership stake in the nuances of what is a complex debate.

All I'm saying is that inquisitive engagement in the process of therapy including the maintenance of a reasoned capacity for criticism towards select underlying assumptions is typically wise to maintain. A T. might (and hopefully does) know much, but they don't know all. The resources and training T's receive constitutes a snapshot of where the theory and practice of psychology is and was, whereas for example it wasn't so terribly long ago that the DSM itself didn't strictly exist. To the terrific embarrassment of many, homosexuality was pathologized within the equally authoritative words of the first volume, whereas I doubt so many here would be nearly as harsh as that. As general guidance to all, please maintain some even very modest capacity to question in the face of any authority, for time and the evolution of knowledge does not stop. Thanks...

M.

 

[piratelady]

The resources and training T's receive constitutes a snapshot of where the theory and practice of psychology is and was, whereas for example it wasn't so terribly long ago that the DSM itself didn't strictly exist. To the terrific embarrassment of many, homosexuality was pathologized within the equally authoritative words of the first volume, whereas I doubt so many here would be nearly as harsh as that. As general guidance to all, please maintain some even very modest capacity to question in the face of any authority, for time and the evolution of knowledge does not stop. Thanks...

I think this speaks so much. Many people think a therapist knows all. Aside from the snapshot they receive when trained, so much of psychology is subjective. It's not like you can have a blood panel analyzed and then know definitively that you are depressed or have PTSD. After the diagnosis there is still a matter of therapy. As you have so eloquently said, Psychology is a young field.

We should periodically take a step back and make sure we are on the right path in our therapy and sometimes we may not have the right therapist even. The therapist doesn't know everything, especially since they can't read minds and a lot of what they know is derived from observation and what we tell them. There is a lot of room for error.

Sometimes not seeing all the truth or seeking the correct answers is because we are stuck in the guilt. Does this make any sense?

That does make more sense. I know - intellectually- that what happened was not my fault (I guess it is denial?). However, I still feel the guilt. I will have to keep working on resolving those feelings somehow.

 

[fyredrift23]

I wonder if that is part of my issue. Intellectually, I know the abuse was not my fault, I am not the guilty party. I mean, it has been explained and re-explained every which way from Sunday and yet I still have the feeling of guilt.

About the guilt, I guess that there are as many cases as there are persons. I would probably say that the guilt may or may not be real, but the FEELING of guilt IS very, VERY real for the person who lives it.

But, by doing so, it is as if one is just stuck in these past events, without moving on for years and years. That is a demoniac circle that has to be broken before she can improve at last. And, for that circle to be broken, she has to admit that the guilt IS real for herself, as it is anyway how she FEELS it... Only then one can work it out and move on.

To me, the feeling of guilt is one of the toughest feelings that we have to deal with.

I can relate to what both of you all have said so much. I'm not sure if that is such a great thing or not, lol, but I appreciate what has been said :D

I myself struggle with guilt when it comes to wrestling the ghouls of my past. I don't mean to paint an inappropriate picture of a horrific childhood or something similar. My life really hasn't been so bad, I'm just poetic I guess lol. I have had a relatively recent experience of living with a relative who was tremendously emotionally and psychologically abusive. It was a hellish experience for me when I was already in a severely fragile mental state. :depressed:

Her statements and sly accusations resonated with pieces of me that suspected that much of the pain I had endured in my life could have been avoided. It was awful, and she made me feel like shit even more than I already did :cry:

I am still struggling to overcome those lies that insist I could have done things differently (mind you, I'm only 23, so I'm largely talking about my childhood here). I love Good Will Hunting and can relate to Will in some ways. I sometimes do wish that if my T would just say "It's not your fault" over and over, the pure force of the statement will permanently obliterate the Guilt and Doubt demons :devilish:, freeing me from their dungeon forever.

*sigh* But, of course, that is impossible! Like Amcen said, my T also takes the approach of having me face my guilt and explore it; expose it, if you will. I hate when he does that, but I think that's because my guilt feelings are laden with feelings of shame as well. In therapy, my T and I seek to "shine a spotlight" on shame and guilt and all their friends so I can confront them. Only when I can openly acknowledge these feelings can I effectively heal. I'm working on it, but it's really hard and, oftentimes, quite painful :inpain:

 

[therapybankrupt]

I sometimes do wish that if my T would just say "It's not your fault" over and over, the pure force of the statement will permanently obliterate the Guilt and Doubt demons , freeing me from their dungeon forever.

Hi Fyredrift! I hope your therapist is like a broken record over and over.:banghead: It helps, but until you have that ah ha moment you will not be free or believe it. Heck, I look back at the guilt I forced myself to live with as truth and how it caused me such self hate. I want to cry.:cry: I understand the pain and how much of a hold on it can have on you. I now have the understanding of how manipulative others can be. Knowing about Stockholm syndrome makes everything more clear. It all makes more sense to me in my situation.

I learned the truth through this forum and researching. My t has given me EMDR and the truth showed up during those processes also. I have had a weight lifted of my shoulders. I was angry at first when I saw the truth and honestly people had been trying to tell me these things forever. I just did not get it. Possibly I wasn't ready? It has taken years and I hope you to can find the truth and hold that in your heart. It does not solve everything but it is freeing. It is a piece of the journey!

tb

 

[fyredrift23]

Thanks so much for your kind words, tb :) You made my day!

I look back at the guilt I forced myself to live with as truth and how it caused me such self hate.

I totally identify with this right here. I'm still trying to understand that guilt is, indeed, something I can choose to absolve and live without. Not have this ever-present banner that reads, "You are not allowed to be truly happy. You do not deserve to be."

I'm glad you were able to have the weight lifted from your shoulders through this forum! I research (what I can handle) quite a bit, myself. It does help me often, but other times, I don't understand what it's trying to say. Same with my T and things he says sometimes. Yeah, it's like you said. I have yet to have that ah-ha moment where I truly get it and believe it.

It sucks, lol, but with some time, I think I'll get there. I've made a lot of progress so far! :D