Had A Really Rough Time In Therapy Today :(

[Rob_Dog19]

I had my appointment with my T today, and it didn't go well for me. After I have her the cliff's notes of what's been most on my mind, and first, she started yelling (not at me) that she was mad that my dr's didn't think to consult her at all during my surgeries/hospital stay/cathing...she told me that they should have sedated me before they ever tried cathing me...and she wasn't happy that they didn't...I didn't know what to say...I had no control over the matter.
I told her that I have been cutting myself again, but I left out the other self damaging thoughts and actions...but in any event, she was concerned enough that she told me to go home and take a double dose of my sedatives and sleep as much as I possibly can...partly because I have had six hours of sleep total in the the past 6 days, and partly because she wants me to be so sedated that I am unable to do anything too harmful to myself. Then she made another emergent appointment for tomorrow morning. Plus the one I have on Thursday...She's going to get tired of seeing me.

 

[Vcircle]

She really listened to you didn't she? Thank god for that. I am so pleased for you and so happy with her. She is showing true support.

Can I gripe about my session today? Mine has recorded 2 x suicide attempts against me - obviously i dont agree with her assessment of what happened. Then over the session she told me that she cannot continue seeing me unless I go and see a psychiatrist - for medication. I have major abandonment and trust issues - and I feel that I can't trust her now and that she had abandoned me. I wish I had your T today.

Yay for your T.

 

[Srain]

I'm glad that she is on to the case and sincerely doubt because she wants to see you so much that means she is going to get tired of seeing you, though I can understand why you might be feeling this way. There is that part of me that feels like anyone seeing me face to face too much (especially my tdoc hearing all the icky details) is just going find out things they will soon regret knowing the real me, maybe this is not it for you but it's what comes to mind for me.

I'm sick that you left feeling so poorly, I know that is not what you needed after all you've been through lately ((((((hug)))).

The positives that I get out of what you have written are that she is passionately upset or seems to be that you were not better taken care of, which I agree with, though it would have been nice had she not made you feel like it was your doing! She seems concerned that you have enough sleep and come right back in and with only had 6hrs sleep in the 6 days who wouldn't be concerned about you and who wouldn't be feeling crappy at this point. Sleep was surely called for. I'm hoping your next appointment goes much much better and you feel better.

Good on you for telling her as much as you did!! That was brave of you and shows how much you are already putting yourself into this.

You are in my thoughts,
Rain

 

[Heather]

She's taking you seriously. Good for her.