My mom and dad have been separated for over 9 years. Part of the reason my mom and dad separated was because my dad had really bad alcoholism (he's been sober for 2-3 years now though). During my childhood, I remember so much domestic violence taking place between my mom and dad. It was so sad and traumatic, and I remember crying about it, and just so many awful things. My dad deep-fully regrets this, and he's been working a lot on his life, and I'm really optimistic about where we're headed.
He discussed about how World War III at home essentially affected him, and the fact that he often got drunk because of this constant domestic violence. What he did tell me though, was that he distinctly remembered that my sister, brother, and mother got into so many damn arguments themselves as well. I think for years my family has wrongly antagonized my dad, and even though I don't condone his actions, I can at least understand why he did some of the stuff he did, especially given the dark place and mindset that he was surrounded by.
I'm starting to believe that my entire family played a gigantic role, as my dad said. My family is incredibly dysfunctional, and even to this day, it's just bad. I don't get along with my brother, and given how he treated me and my mom like shit even after my dad left, I'm convinced that my entire family had some role in my trauma. One traumatic event I remember was when my brother began cussing me out very harshly, and I distinctly remember my mom telling me that I was responsible for a lot my family's problems, after I had ran into the room and just locked myself, crying and wanting to move out (this was in January 2009; my dad and mom were very well separated at this point). My mom took back what she said a day later, but my brother held onto a lot of antagonizing feelings well after that.
Just looking back, I really always was in the crossfires. So many scars, so many tears, and so much trauma and confusion. I'm also kinda surprised seeing that it was just this bad. And at this point, I feel a certain amount of sympathy for my father, because he couldn't always defend me from my brother's abuse, nor could he stop the arguments between everyone else. It was just impossible.
He discussed about how World War III at home essentially affected him, and the fact that he often got drunk because of this constant domestic violence. What he did tell me though, was that he distinctly remembered that my sister, brother, and mother got into so many damn arguments themselves as well. I think for years my family has wrongly antagonized my dad, and even though I don't condone his actions, I can at least understand why he did some of the stuff he did, especially given the dark place and mindset that he was surrounded by.
I'm starting to believe that my entire family played a gigantic role, as my dad said. My family is incredibly dysfunctional, and even to this day, it's just bad. I don't get along with my brother, and given how he treated me and my mom like shit even after my dad left, I'm convinced that my entire family had some role in my trauma. One traumatic event I remember was when my brother began cussing me out very harshly, and I distinctly remember my mom telling me that I was responsible for a lot my family's problems, after I had ran into the room and just locked myself, crying and wanting to move out (this was in January 2009; my dad and mom were very well separated at this point). My mom took back what she said a day later, but my brother held onto a lot of antagonizing feelings well after that.
Just looking back, I really always was in the crossfires. So many scars, so many tears, and so much trauma and confusion. I'm also kinda surprised seeing that it was just this bad. And at this point, I feel a certain amount of sympathy for my father, because he couldn't always defend me from my brother's abuse, nor could he stop the arguments between everyone else. It was just impossible.
