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Had Flashbacks Lastnight. Feel Like No One Understands

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bobjohn

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At the place where I live it feels very chaotic. Everyone seem s to avoid me or that they are afraid of me. I tried to tell my dad how I felt last night. But he woun't listion to a word i was saying because it was coming from a very emotional place eventully he snaped at kept getting in my face even when i told him to stop. He hasn t yelled like this for years and i went
To bed and i started to scream
All night. my dad then calls the cops
On me. I tell them i am fine and they
Leave, but the next day i wake
Up and he tells me that my screaming
Was all an act for him to feel sorry for me I then blew up in his face telling him that i never want to see him again. Worse after the cops arrive i go see the therapist and then it seem s like everyone including my therapist jump down on me. I can't take this. I already feel like i am wasting my life by feeling vegatated and not in control of my body but everyone then tells me to take resposonsabilty for my action while they ignore me
 
I hear you. For me, the screaming (your dads) would have been so triggering... Add the cops and feeling helpless.. Sounds like a nightmare. Try to take care of yourself...
 
It started because the morning it happened I was screaming. I feel like sometimes my mind gets overwhelmed and it wants to yell. Well on that day I did.

A part of me feels guilt because I know I was yelling when trying to tell my dad how I felt. We never went anywhere in the conversation. All I could say is that your not listioning. My dad drove me near the psych ward hoping to drop me off. I really lost my mind when we were talking I kept trying to jump outta the car while we were driving because I felt so helpless. I have been in the car with him in the past where he would keep going on and where I have gotten physical with him before(Not this current time though) which is a source of tremendous source of guilt for my mind
 
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