Hallucinations

[Ghostybear73]

I have been having a lot of problems with hallucinating, both seeing and hearing things. Last time was someone trying to get into my room. I was laying there watching the door handle jiggle violently. I grabbed my knife, opened the door and nobody was there. Then loving my dog and realizing she can't possibly be there because my door is locked and she was outside when I went to bed.

Anyways, I am laying in bed psyching myself up for a good day and I start hearing voices outside my door. Of course I'm scared to death that I'm hearing things, so when I open my door and nobody is there, I start to panic.

My husband sleeps in a different room so he has enough time to stop me from causing damage to myself or them when I'm sleepwalking. So I go into his room and shine a light on his face. He asks me what was wrong and I tell him I'm hearing things again.

To my utter relief, he looks at me and says, "no honey, I was telling Chelsea (our daughter) to go back to bed".

It is weird not knowing when you are really seeing and hearing things or hallucinating. I'm relieved it was real this time. :)

 

[arfie]

Count me a "yes." I have gone through allot of this sort of mind-rip. Decades of it. No fun. I and several folks in my healing network think it is connected to the amnesia. We do not know this. We only believe it. The theories abound on the subject. We all agree it is mind-blowing...

My trusty dog, my compassionate husband and the support of my healing network are my most effective coping tools. I'll sure go for a cure, if ya find one. Awareness is not a cure, but it helps me manage it.

 

[Ghostybear73]

Hey Arfie,

My therapist says it is severe dissociation that is normal for some people as they process trauma, especially long term trauma. I sometimes get tired of hearing, "It is part of the healing process for some and this too shall pass with time, providing you contine to work on allowing yourself to feel".

 

[Deleted member 23044]

I used to hear voices a lot, like a tv being on, or the radio, when there is none. At first they are just like white noise in the backround of my head... but they grow louder and louder until they disrupt my own regular thoughts and suddenly I'm like, "what the f*ck? what is that? where is it coming from?" but once I focus on it the noise ceases immediately and it is quiet.... but at times I have actually gotten up and walked into the other room believing that someone left the TV on with the volume super loud, only to find the TV off. Last night I heard the voice of a woman, while I was having my own thoughts, same thing. Never understood the language... the sound of her voice was wailing, singing almost, very passionate, in some other foreign language... It's been awhile since this kind of stuff has happened so I'm kind of surprised. This usually happens at night when I am in bed or sitting alone, deep in thought. I'll bring it up in therapy.

On visual hallucinations, when I was about five or six years old I had a vision of Christ (that I DID NOT imagine it or make up). Very odd, anyone else have childhood hallucinations or thoughts on it? (sorry if it's rude to ask in someone else's post, but it WAS a "hallucination," right?)

I'm glad I'm sort of not alone in this either(but NOT glad and sorry that other people are going through it and it's causing anxiety and panic). I also hear things and worry that someone is trying to get into the house(someone is in the attic/someone is crawling up the outside wall, etc.). I usually tell myself I'm being stupid and that it's just the wind, creaking noises, etc. It totally feels like a waking nightmare when these thoughts start to intrude my mind... but I shove them away, not wanting to get stuck in that nightmare.

 

[EverOnly358]

I can't say I have hallucinations, but every single little noise of the house settling, every creak, every little noise of people moving around or the wind blowing outside can set me off. I've found white noise and music really help me. I usually have a fan going somewhere and I'm never without my headphones. This may or may not help you... it might help to distract you from worrying about hearing sounds... because there's something normal and innocuous to hear instead... or it might bother you, because it masks other sounds. But I thought I would mention it. I don't really like hearing stuff like it's just part of the healing process and will pass in time... I always want something TO DO to help move these problems along. ;) Anyways... I'm not sure if this will help, but I'll throw it out there, because it really helps me and might work for others.

And like I said, it's all hypervigilance for me, but I've definitely had times when I was freaking out about noises... sometimes it was the kids and sometimes it wasn't. So, well, I kinda know what you mean about relief when it's real. :)

Hang in there,
D123

 

[roaminggnome]

I have both auditory and visual hallucinations. I hear voices and see bugs that aren't really there. I don't freak out about them like I used to. Instead I tell myself calmly that they are not real. That and the antipsychotic medication I take help. I wish I had some magic way to make them disappear. I wish you the best of luck as hallucinations can be very frightening.

 

[Ghostybear73]

Thanks to everyone who replied, I was starting to feel like I was going crazy. Music does help and my husband is my sanity in these moments!!

 

[Deleted member 23044]

Update, sortof(and maybe helpful to some).

It has just come to my awareness that I have DID.

Early childhood hallucinations(the vision I had when I was five/six years old), the voices, these are common symptoms for some people with DID. Hallucinations are sometimes psychosomatic responses to trauma, still, often times this stuff is confused with a Schizophrenic diagnosis. Aside from large memory gaps in my early teens(and very little memory prior to vision of Christ)... it has been subtle and un-disruptive, mostly, for the better part of my life. I have had other people in my life ask me what I just said or told me I just said something when I swore I didn't say anything(this has happened enough that some people I'm close with noted it and got used to it). Subtle... until recent events and "black outs." In fact I had no idea that I could have DID, in fact I would not have believed anyone had they told me that I had DID a few months ago. I heard of this condition before and I, in fact, always thought people must be acting/lying(very judgey of me, eh?), and sometimes I still do. Very hard to believe even now. This ain't no joke. Denial is at the root of my dissociation, and maybe everyone's dissociation... If you've had hallucinations of this sort, take my little testimony into account. You may not know it or believe this is even remotely possible, but one day... you might be in a similar boat. In which case, don't let the darkness and the pain upon waking up consume you. The truth... as much as it hurts, shall set us free, and I promise there are better days and light ahead of you!

I do not plan on becoming medicated, ever, except for MAYBE anti-depressants if I become too depressed. I have not gotten to that point as of yet(even though I surely feel depressed at times, I seem to be functioning on the little amount of motivation that I have still). I am in therapy and practicing mindfulness and grounding techniques.