Hard To Let Go Of Grudges

[Rimad]

I have c-trauma. I have been keen so far at going into traumas, even when it caused side effects like passing out. My T even suggested I take the processing slower because I was so keen to get it all out that I was having back to back intense and tough sessions, but I wanted to get through them ASAP.

But like, I still hold a lot of grudges to people and places. Some who directly hurt me, others who are bystanders. I hold resentment and jealousy against some family members who I felt were better treated.

But my T is really pressuring me to let go of these grudges and I'm finding it really really hard. I know I need to eventually let go of these but I don't want to. It even is making me feel like going back to cutting or leaving therapy.

Is it normal to be pressured to let go of a grudge?

 

[Menoj]

I don't hold grudges because I don't have the energy for them. Do you know why you want to keep them? What do they do for you?

 

[Uwer]

In what way is she pressuring you?