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Has Anyone Ever Wondered

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Punky143

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Before a series of events that literally forced the "others" to come out, my T only saw or knew about one of us because we never knew it to be any other way if that makes any sense. So, because of my daughter being assaulted for which I don't want to discuss at this time my trauma hx has gone on a tailspin. So much so, "we" did the ultimate sacrifice and allowed her to know about us. But it has allowed us to seek relief because she is the only person who knows. That being said, I wonder what she is thinking. Not just clinical, but as a human being. Scared? Fascinated? Does she talk about me with others? Or does she dread seeing me? Am I too much for her now? Over her level of care? I just wonder.....
 
I think it is natural to wonder these things sometimes. I mean, for me my T is someone I have shared more with than I have anyone else, so I wonder things like that sometimes. I don't have "others" so I don't have any personal experience as far as that. I do find myself thinking things like "What does T really think of me? Does he talk about me with others (without giving away any of my identifying information obviously)? Does he like working with me?" and many other things along that line. My T is pretty open about talking about these things with me and we have a good working relationship so I just ask him usually if something is on my mind. I think its human nature to be curious. If your T is any good, she probably understands all that, so go ahead and ask her if you want to. I bet you wouldn't be her first client to wonder those types of things!
 
Cause it feels weird and I feel weird. I don't know how to have friendships or relationships. Yea, strange but not. I ruin them. I suck. I have one friend.
 
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