FindingMyself88
Platinum Member
I know I haven't been on in a while- life has been hectic. Around January I decided to retire Bristol out of public access because she was getting too stressed. For a month or so I just told myself I would live without a service dog in public with me, but I just can't. Not only for my PTSD, but my health has worsened. In April I started having fainting spells and they are getting more frequent. So a friend set up a go fund me account to help raise money to get me another service dog prospect. This friend lives in Colorado and had gotten 2 golden retriever puppies from a breeder and the pups are doing great with training. I thought it would take a year or more to raise the money, but someone who has never even met me donated the entire amount for my puppy AND my airplane ticket!
So May 9th I flew out and got my new little guy, Kaz! I actually got him on Mother's day which was very symbolic. Normally that day is filled with triggers, flashbacks, and tears. I did still have some, but seeing him for the first time brightened the day tremendously! My friend is a SD trainer so I let her temperament test and choose 3 of the best puppies. I am a trainer to, but I didn't want my feelings speaking louder than my head. Once she had it narrowed down to three, I held them each. Two of them really weren't interested in me and just kept squirming. Then there was Kaz.. he instantly cuddled into me and when I held him up he looked me dead in the eye. Not a single whimper as we walked away from his siblings. He was content and so was I!
About two weeks prior to this I had gotten a job at a local doggy daycare. They were very accommodating and were/are willing to let Kaz come to work with me as soon as his puppy vaccines are done. However while in Colorado and after the fainting spells have gotten worse. I ended up in the ER this past weekend because I fell and hit my head. For those who remember, I have a TBI (traumatic brain injury) from a fall 2 years ago so this wasn't good. My doctor is running tests but until we find out what is wrong, she is taking me out of work. They feel like I am a liability so I doubt they are going to be willing to hold my job or let me back once things are settled. If things don't settle soon I will probably be faced with applying for disability. I really love the job and want to work, but right now its not possible.
Therapy is going well. We are starting EMDR on some flashbacks that are coming up in a few weeks. EMDR has been hard but SO worth it. I went from nightmares and flashbacks every night to only sporadic now. I will probably write a separate post about the recent flashbacks.
Just wanted to post an update. I have missed everyone very much! Here are some pictures of Bristol and Kaz :) He is a 9 week old Golden Retriever puppy. Incredibly smart! He already knows sit, down, potty on command, touch (hand with nose), and working on leave it. He gives REALLY good eye contact and all I've done is reinforce it. Nothing scares him either, or for long. If it does, he doesn't run away. He looks at it and finds out what it is. So for now we are just bonding, working on basics, and we go to several stores a week and sit outside to do people watching. Once he has his next set of shots we will start going to pet friendly places. He does go with me to my doctor's office because they ask me to bring him.
So May 9th I flew out and got my new little guy, Kaz! I actually got him on Mother's day which was very symbolic. Normally that day is filled with triggers, flashbacks, and tears. I did still have some, but seeing him for the first time brightened the day tremendously! My friend is a SD trainer so I let her temperament test and choose 3 of the best puppies. I am a trainer to, but I didn't want my feelings speaking louder than my head. Once she had it narrowed down to three, I held them each. Two of them really weren't interested in me and just kept squirming. Then there was Kaz.. he instantly cuddled into me and when I held him up he looked me dead in the eye. Not a single whimper as we walked away from his siblings. He was content and so was I!
About two weeks prior to this I had gotten a job at a local doggy daycare. They were very accommodating and were/are willing to let Kaz come to work with me as soon as his puppy vaccines are done. However while in Colorado and after the fainting spells have gotten worse. I ended up in the ER this past weekend because I fell and hit my head. For those who remember, I have a TBI (traumatic brain injury) from a fall 2 years ago so this wasn't good. My doctor is running tests but until we find out what is wrong, she is taking me out of work. They feel like I am a liability so I doubt they are going to be willing to hold my job or let me back once things are settled. If things don't settle soon I will probably be faced with applying for disability. I really love the job and want to work, but right now its not possible.
Therapy is going well. We are starting EMDR on some flashbacks that are coming up in a few weeks. EMDR has been hard but SO worth it. I went from nightmares and flashbacks every night to only sporadic now. I will probably write a separate post about the recent flashbacks.
Just wanted to post an update. I have missed everyone very much! Here are some pictures of Bristol and Kaz :) He is a 9 week old Golden Retriever puppy. Incredibly smart! He already knows sit, down, potty on command, touch (hand with nose), and working on leave it. He gives REALLY good eye contact and all I've done is reinforce it. Nothing scares him either, or for long. If it does, he doesn't run away. He looks at it and finds out what it is. So for now we are just bonding, working on basics, and we go to several stores a week and sit outside to do people watching. Once he has his next set of shots we will start going to pet friendly places. He does go with me to my doctor's office because they ask me to bring him.
