Thank you so much that is really helpful. So I could write them down email but set boundaries around what feels OK. And say I want him to know but don't want to talk about any events. I think I'm as ashamed of my response to the trigger as I am of the experience.
I worry a lot that I'll say it and he won't realise what it's linked to and then I'll feel even more ashamed.
If I said yoghurt triggered me and you knew I had a history of csa (sorry) might you get why that is so horrible?
I get it...it feels very vulnerable to discuss something of a sexual nature to possibly have some resolve. The thing that has stuck with me most is when I read, "When you feel dirty and bad you will go live like you are dirty and bad." At some point, I hope you can realize that you aren't dirty or bad and that having a trigger like that is totally normal for what you went through. I hope you can set your shame aside in order to discuss with your therapist. I am so sorry that happened to you. The shame is with your abuser. You are incredibly brave.