General Have You Told You Have Been On This Site?

[IvyMillie]

Okay, this is the big question. This site has helped me so much. I'm still new. I want to tell my husband who has PTSD that this summer I just really needed help and I have found this site that really helped. I'm kind of afraid of his reaction. I need to tell him, but what if he wants to read my posts.

I was at such a point of desperation that this site has helped so much. I've been open and frank--as you need to on this site. However, how does the person in your life with PTSD feel about it? Do they ask to read your posts?

I don't want to hurt him--but honestly I need help and the feedback I get. I know if he wanted he could go on this site and know who I am and I'm not sure how he would react.

How did you approach the subject? Did you? What happened? Or have you kept it private?

 

[Lucycat]

I am on the other side of the fence in that I have PTSD and was ub=ncertain about what to tell my husband about this site - and the sister site , survive sexual abuse. In the end I suggested he became a member in his own right so he can read what I have put. This lessened his anxiety. He rarely bothers - because he knows he can. There are no secrets, he can read anything I write if he chooses.

I have been quite frank in many of my posts and he would be quite embarrased if real names were used. But he accepts that this site is helpful to me, it is not secretive or hidden. He is very happy with that.

I guess that means none of us should be ashamed of needing support here, and if our loved ones can get support too, so much the better!

 

[amethist]

HI Ivy

My husband knew about my finding this forum from day one. I told him about it and he understood why I needed the support and help that has been given me for over 2 years now.

He does not use computers, but does read some things when I ask him to. He also knows that without this forum, we would possibly not still be together.

My being here has given me the support from others who "Get It", as well as the information to help my husband better than I would ever have been able to without it.

I hope you can find that same support and information too.

Amethist

 

[The Albatross]

Both my shrink and my husband know I participate on this site... that my diary is here, that it is helping me, and they're fine with it.

 

[Sunshine71]

I told my husband as its been of such super help - and to be honest I would be happy to discuss - and probably have discussed with him anyway all what I have posted.

I thought that it may help him as well. Infact I know it would.

 

[Queen Boudica]

I'd be terrified if my husband sees what I have written on this site. That is one of my worries he finds out about it. Not sure how he would react.

Haven't told my psych about it. Not sure. Should I?

 

[ISupportHer]

I encouraged my wife to join, then kind of freaked at her reading some of what I'd posted in my moments of anxiety. Then when she did, she did the same. Afraid I would see what she posted. A shame really.

So I showed her another forum and agreed to stay clear. I kind of have gotten away from the fears I had and doubt she ever looked here in detail. But that was my solution.

 

[IvyMillie]

I do really want to tell him. I just feel like on one hand he doesn't really always acknowledge he has PTSD. Sometimes he is in denial. It will probably be a matter of me explaining how much I need it. I think he won't like my honesty, but I've had to say things to have any real input and help. I'm just slightly afraid he will try to forbid me--and then I'm up a creek. I think I will try to find the right moment and mention it lightly. It might take a couple of months. Sometimes I like to bring things up after some time has passed so that it's not such an emotional issue. I think in a couple of months it should work out. He has something stressful coming up in that time frame, so I will wait till after that. I think he will want me to get help, but he just doesn't understand how desperately I have needed help.

 

[LoyalOne]

Hey, new poster here.

I have to say, I am not going to tell my Sgt that I fled here for help. He is still struggling very hard with whether he has an actual problem, and spends at least as much time trying to manage other peoples' knowledge of it as he does trying to manage the symptoms themselves. If he knew I were on here, he would see it as evidence that he had failed me by being too hard on me for me to cope with. So I am keeping mum.

 

[IvyMillie]

Well I was all stressed out about bringing up the subject and decided to just see if I felt any moment was the "right" moment. It did come and I mentioned it. He wasn't interested at all. I told him I had learned alot, but again he didn't ask or seem like he cared. I was kind of glad about that.

LoyalOne it does seem like in your situation particularly he wouldn't take well to your being on this site. I think all of us have to to what is best in our situation, and every situation is different. That's nice of you to be interested enough to get all the info you can and to be supportive in that way.

 

[LoyalOne]

I love him an awful lot. He thinks he is hiding how depressed he is, but it is written across his forehead in ten foot tall letters. He tries so hard, but I know that for every thing he tells me is helpful for him, he is probably not telling me five things he wishes I would rather not do. So I came here for help. He has decided to use me as his primary support, and I am mortally afraid of screwing up.

 

[melody]

I'm actually on the other side of this as well (being the one with PTSD), and I accidentally left it open one day right after I'd posted something really sensitive, and it took me a year or so to feel comfortable signing back in and I only come on here when he's not home now. He (my husband) doesn't even like computers and hardly ever goes near ours, and I felt almost betrayed. I was just taking a break and didn't sign off... The next thing I knew he was reading, and quoting what I said and I don't want him to "get into" the deep recesses of my mind where I feel like I'm a crazy person. I need it to be a place where I can go and vent without anyone that knows me, judging me. Especially him.