Relationship He Forgot My Birthday Today

[Sweetpea76]

No I haven't. I just feel disappointed that it was important enough for him to remember on his own. I'm kinda resentful right now at him.

If you aren't up for the direct approach, call up some girlfriends and go have a fabulous night of dinner and dancing. Be sure to post a ton of pictures of your good times, then tell him that you had a wonderful time celebrating your birthday last night when you talk to him tomorrow. If he isn't a complete dunderhead he will realize he messed up all on his own.

Regardless, don't wait on him to have a great birthday. Go have a fun night out and enjoy it. I agree with a lot of the other posters... this sounds like a man-thing more than a PTSD thing.

 

[scout86]

Or, what about calling him up and saying "Hey, it's my birthday, want to go out?" Just sayin'..... (I know it's not as romantic as if he actually remembered. If it's him you want the time and attention from, it's an option. It would also be a huge relief, from his point of view, to not be in trouble and then he definitely owes you one.)

I'd also like to suggest that this isn't, totally, a gender thing. I'm not male and I can't remember birthdays or anniversaries consistently, to save my life. And I don't do it on purpose! Although I often seem to be trying to convince people who think otherwise that it's not on purpose. :(

 

[Deleted member 27524]

Thank you all very much! I did tell him in my own way and he was very remorseful and said that he did know that today was my birthday and he had even remembered it yesterday but it had just slipped his mind today. The guy is super busy and leads a very hectic and full life. He seemed very sorry and said he'd got me some presents and said "can I send you something but I guess flowers won't fix it now?"..Material things personally mean nothing to me. I simply think his life is just to full for me to hold any real importance for him and I don't even feel like talking to him right now!

 

[Justmehere]

:hug:

Happy Birthday! It's ok to be mad. Birthdays are important! It's ok to tell him you need a little space and to not talk to him for a bit. I also encourage you to not let it last long. If he can make it up to you, tell him how. If he makes a pattern of this, ask him very specifically how you want your relationship to change. It's healthy to ask someone to make more space for you in their life, and then to see if they will or will not. This is part of what dating is all about.

If this is a one time event, for both your sake, I hope you find a way to regroup and celebrate your birthday, your life, on another day.

I myself have forgotten important dates. It usually happens when I am busy and/or stressed. It's not an excuse. I always feel so bad when I do it. It's never about how much I care about someone. The fact that he talked about it leading up until this dates shows me that he does care and value you, and he totally goofed up. It's actually kinda odd that he remembered yesterday and then not today. That's something I would do when I'm really struggling with PTSD stuff and I'm having dissociative problems.

Either way, I know this hurts and I'm so sorry he totally forgot.

 

[shell]

Happy Birthday. I am really sorry he forgot, I have been on the receiving end of this when we moved interstate my finance (now husband) forgot my birthday. Lets just say he won't ever forget it again! It is a male thing, human thing, I guess, he couldn't apologise enough, but I didn't get one happy birthday that day because we were new in the state and knew no-one. It really hurts to feel like no cares, but not remembering isn't always about being thoughtless, although at the time I was really hurt. I hope some friends helped you feel special.

 

[anthony]

Ouch... sorry. Birthday is a big one.

Saying that... does he remember others birthdays? Or does he forget quite equally? Men do tend to care less about such things, compared to women. I personally wouldn't know when any families birthday is, let alone remembering a partners. I DO need to be reminded, and if left to remember, chances are I will forget.

That has nothing to do though with my time in being present for someone, and I'm not sure whether you're clouding the two things a little. Being present and spending time with someone doesn't really correlate IMHO to remembering the date of an event.

I am male though... though just ignore as desired. :D

 

[anthony]

Oh... and happy birthday, just for good measure.

 

[Deleted member 27524]

Thank you everyone! It took me about 24 hours but I'm finally over it! We have talked and I do know deep in my heart he'd never intentionally hurt me on purpose. He's a pretty special guy at least in my eyes and nobody is perfect. Lord knows I know I've disappointed him in other ways and he never gave up on me when I just knew he would. I am not perfect and he's not perfect and I'm just choosing to look at this as we are just two imperfect people who have refused to give up on each other.