Relationship He left for someone else.

[Cleo1521]

That’s exactly it with relationship jumpers. They’re trying to fill a void. Sadly it doesn’t work that way. Patterns repeat until we take responsibility. I feel bad for the new gal. She doesn’t know what’s coming.

As do I. I’m sure she’ll find out sooner than later. It’s like a trail of hurt he’s leaving and he doesn’t even see it. The entire thing is extremely sad to me.

 

[Cleo1521]

That’s exactly it with relationship jumpers. They’re trying to fill a void. Sadly it doesn’t work that way. Patterns repeat until we take responsibility. I feel bad for the new gal. She doesn’t know what’s coming.

The blame game and the projecting...it took a bigger toll on me than I realized.?

 

[Hojay]

The blame game and the projecting...it took a bigger toll on me than I realized.

And that’s the worst. There are some people who are just brilliant at screwing us over while making us believe it’s our fault. Play the blame game long enough and you’ll believe it sooner or later. Nobody is immune. I had an ex once who wanted me to believe he serial cheated on me because I made him feel bad about himself by being more “driven” than him. Haha. Nope, nope, nope.

 

[PreciousChild]

Hi @Cleo1521. Sorry that happened to you. I just had a break up too with someone with untreated ptsd who had no self-awareness and put all of his bad feelings on me (being the closest target). It sucked. While we were waiting for his new apartment to become available, he was constantly critical and jumped down my throat at the slightest comment. It felt very unfair and frustrating. He had a decent streak though and both of us agreed that we would not involve other people until we 100% got through breaking up and was out of each other's hair. I think other people complicate the situation a lot. We might know intellectually that their blame and run is ptsd-related, but it's still about love lost and a broken heart. I did not want to deal with feelings of jealousy, humiliation and betrayal in addition to feelings of abandonment and rejection, nor did I want to put that on him.

I hope you grieve the relationship in a way that helps you. There's a lot of good stuff online about good ways to let go.

 

[Cleo1521]

Hi @Cleo1521. Sorry that happened to you. I just had a break up too with someone with untreated ptsd who had no self-awareness and put all of his bad feelings on me (being the closest target). It sucked. While we were waiting for his new apartment to become available, he was constantly critical and jumped down my throat at the slightest comment. It felt very unfair and frustrating. He had a decent streak though and both of us agreed that we would not involve other people until we 100% got through breaking up and was out of each other's hair. I think other people complicate the situation a lot. We might know intellectually that their blame and run is ptsd-related, but it's still about love lost and a broken heart. I did not want to deal with feelings of jealousy, humiliation and betrayal in addition to feelings of abandonment and rejection, nor did I want to put that on him.

I hope you grieve the relationship in a way that helps you. There's a lot of good stuff online about good ways to let go.

I’ve known him my entire life. I don’t even know how to do it.

Here I am thinking about everything he is dealing with and going through and he’s out finding someone else.

 

[Cleo1521]

Just happened to me as well.

Just read your story. I feel for you. I really do. I wish I had a good answer for you, but I don’t. I find a lot of comfort here though.

 

[PreciousChild]

I’ve known him my entire life. I don’t even know how to do it.

Here I am thinking about everything he is dealing with and going through and he’s out finding someone else.

That really sucks. His leaving probably left a pretty big void to fill. I looked back at some of your other threads. It seems like your relationship has had its share of problems. Though you didn't choose to end it despite that, if you can, seeing this as an opportunity to heal and grow will be really helpful.