Head Banger. Not The Fun Kind.

[lolololol]

I need to hear other peoples feelings they get when banging their head against something for relief of too much anger/stress built up. i just smashed my head into my 37" flat screen and then proceeded to punch it until it flew out the back of the tv module. i have been diagnosed with ADHD,PTSD & Chronic Depression Disorder. I smoke weed because it works as a really good mood stablizer for me but sometimes it isnt enough. im just curious as to how other people deal with this. it feels so good to do it but it isnt. im just messing myself up even more but i cant help it. its like all my feelings of being alone, angry and worried come out all at once and i react like that.

 

[Friday]

Yep. Feels amazing. On several different levels. Check out the two links below. It's one of those things you can learn to vent in smaller controlled doses to get the same effect... For real... Without f*cking yourself & your life up.

The Ptsd Cup Explanation

Dealing With Anger

- Another ADHD/PTSD peep

 

[Renestel]

IF you are open to it, I think it would be more helpful to know what your PTSD is stemming from, but I totally respect if you don't wanna talk about it. I have dealt with a LOT of anger outbursts this year, I think it's because I finally went to a trauma specialist and there is something connected to acting out physically when you are most connected to past anger- but with me since mine is mostly sexual trauma, I usually protect myself and act out towards others or especially other objects. I can TOTALLY connect with you on the TV, our tv receivers have been super Sh*T lately and we have called the company and of course they give us the run around, and a night when I was drunk (I mostly medicate with alcohol but do some weed) and when my husband was working out of town the tv was being totally unresponsive for the third night in a row and I just all the sudden filled with pure rage and chucked the remote at the flat screen and then when I saw the huge shard of color crack in the screen I all the sudden was like OH CRAP. It felt SO good to chuck it the second that I did, but SO much worse when I realized what I did. I ruined our tv, I even went to the effort of trying to go to a store to replace it with the exact model but of course, with America, we remodel things daily, so it wasn't available anymore. I was therefore coerced to tell my husband the truth when he came home, and I knew his disappointment was going to be the worst punishment. I've broken a lot of stuff in our house. While it feels great for the second, it is never worth it. For me, the only options I can offer you is what I am trying to work with now. ---Meditation, and if that's too hippy for you, I am in MMA membership, and that helps a lot too. But I am careful to go to the gym on the days I feel I could lose it. The days you are really fired up, go alone. Go to get training the other days you can control your emotions, and then in time you can focus them on a punching bag with great combos, get it out in better ways.
The bad news is, its not easy, or there is no easy answer. I feel you on feeling kind of being lost with that. But try to keep working. Write some quotes on your wall your family or friends has said to you that makes you feel strong. Anything to make you get up and try to tackle this. It's a beast. So start training like a fighter.

 

[anonymous]

I am not going to start labeling myself a head banger, but I have found myself while confronted with screaming in my face, ongoing threats of non-stop noise, unnecessary upheavals, blatant disregard and immense frustration, stress and pressures - resorting to me repetitively hitting or punching myself in the head.

I have Ptsd which of course on any unmanageable day includes super anxiety and/or depression. However with me, I don't believe that my suddenly hitting myself in the head accurately reflects symptoms of my Ptsd. Speaking only for myself, I think that any of these meltdowns for me more accurately reflect either brain damage for which I've sustained and have been withstanding.

Or, sometimes I consider the possibility of my brain damage, plus a brief period of (otherwise unnoticeable) simple med. withdrawal appearing simultaneously with these detrimental outbursts and reactions of others for which I don't sometimes know how to cope with and then while so fed up I intensely have experienced most frustrating and powerless emotions, for which though I don't find satisfaction nor relief in this destruction, I suspect both family and myself, will fair best if for me to, and in that moment, rage inwardly directly upon myself.

From knowledge of another's experience, his ADHD is managed with a stimulant which seemingly has created or intensified mood swings and aggression and if and when so, the psychiatrist's next line of pharmacological routine management is often atypical anti-psychotics for hostility (frequently aggravated by a stimulant) and then if mood de-regulation persists, the mood stablizers are routinely added for ADHD, if all this fails psychiatrists will add 4th-line additional med management. This all is some quite scary stuff.

ixbuckxi, I'm sorry that I'm responding and our experience and complete diagnosis's differ some and yet I do share some understanding of what you're requesting.

For me, all I feel and experience is sheer terror and varying degrees of loss of control and then I don't remember the details.

Take Care.