Heh. Panic Reaction To Editorial Notice.

[Llama]

I'm not sure if anyone else has experienced this at all.

I have a fear of authority, and a fear of disappointing authority figures. I posted in my introduction thread that one of the things that was making me nervous about making an introduction thread was fear of breaking the rules in some way.

Apparently I wasn't paying enough attention, because I didn't capitalize my thread title correctly!

Now, I just want to say that the moderator that sent me the message did a great job in how she approached it with the message, and than once I was able to take a step back from my panic reaction and anxiety and feelings of shame and guilt, I was able to see that it was more just a friendly reminder than a "You did this wrong!" message, and was able to calm down.

My initial reaction to seeing a message beginning with "You are being informed of editorial non-compliance in PTSD forum" really freaked me out though. I was completely ashamed of myself, because I always try to follow the rules and here I'd broken one! I was worried about how the 'authority figures' would view me and I just wanted to hide under a rock. I felt that I couldn't show my 'face' here again.

Luckily I was able to curb those responses (well I say luck, but it's actually been years of therapy that enabled me to curb those responses, let's give credit where credit is due.) then go back and re-read the message and realize that it wasn't even a minor slap on the wrist. I wasn't being punished, no one was angry at me. All it was, was a "Hey, could you try and remember to do this in the future please?"

But boy was that 'non-compliance' line freaky to me. Has anyone else experienced a similar reaction to that message?

 

[Sasha]

Hi Llama, and welcome to the forum. You are not alone on this. I felt/feel the same way too. For some reason, I continually make mistakes and am being notified of it. Each time I feel the same way you described. I've spoken to some other forum members and it helped me a lot to know that I wasn't in this boat alone. Hey, come join us in the chat room sometime. It's relaxed and a greaty way to meet other forum members as well. Someone is usually there in the evenings or nights. I think you'll like it.

Some of the things I've been notified of are: Don't return at the end of a sentence, let the sentence wrap around automatically. Don't use too many paragraphs, just keep the message going. I think it has something to do with how the texts show up on different mobile devices, I think, but not sure. If I think of anymore, I'll let you know. In the mean time, don't shy away, what you gain from this forum will be far greater than the correction. Big hugs to you.

 

[a3a2]

Yep, and I am glad you wrote about the fear of authority. I think it makes a great topic. It is something I have reallyy struggled with, and to some degree, still do. I attend classes at a local university, and submitting a paper is sheer terror because of this! I hope you'll start a new thread on it!

I hope you won't be afraid to post again because of the little warning. The editors are a great bunch, from what I have seen. And I am sure we have all gotten that warning a few times.

 

[Pixie]

I'm in the same boat too. I was terrified of getting it wrong at the start and got the same message but just as you did, I was able to step back from the fear and anxiety and realize that the message was simply a friendly reminder. Since then, I've been very careful but still managed to get a few infractions. However, all the moderators are wonderful and aren't angry or disappointed in you. It is simply for the sake of readability and to keep things civilized here at the forum.

You are certainly not alone in this reaction honey and well done for writing it out so expressively and including how you overcame that feeling. That will help other new members along the line too... so thank you.

Rell

 

[ISupportHer]

I really think that a lot of new folks get a notification early on. My first post got one for the same thing. And just to prove that everyone is treated the same, I also got an infraction not too long ago when I forgot to check spelling on a quick response. I think everyone pretty much responds the same way to those,LOL. And I think the way you were able to step back and look at it is just the way to do it. It is just a notification of "hey, you did something wrong" and you look at that and go on knowing what not to do the next time.

ISH

 

[Grama-Herc]

Well guys, don't let it bother you, I got 2 infractions just recently and I have been on the forum for 3 years. It is nothing personal, although I do identify with the feelings you get when you see that message pop up.

 

[anni]

Oh my, we all do get those. I have the authority figure 'thing' also, but you managed it much better than I think i did! :)

The forum seems to be of course set up to make sure things are as clear and as professional as possible. It also seems as if these ' little ' triggers are possibly structured so that we're triggered maybe by a 'safe' authority type, and figure out the roof hasn't fallen in. It works, too, or has for me. I've had a few of them, all for being careless. After I finished freaking out and feeling shamed, etc., of course was able to ascertain that all the authority person wished was for me to use paragraphs correctly. I'll always probably react with some alarm, but now am able to know it is at least 'safe' here, with really pleasant folks in charge.

It sounds as if you handled your trigger with this beautifully, and worked through it much more quickly than I did! :)

Take care,

Anni

 

[Tessa]

I am terrified of authority and was frozen for a week-end when I made a mistake. I discussed it with my psychologist and am glad that I overcame it.

This forum is a great place to share and receive compassion and care.Please keep trying.

Hugs
Tessa

 

[anthony]

Honestly, I don't really like being referred to as an authority figure here, as I have no actual power of any legal context, nor do staff. Instead we are sufferers and carers just the same as everyone else on this forum. The rules we enforce are those mostly set by the members of this forum, not me, not other staff. The staff policy clearly outlines how I despise anyone thinking they are better than another here being in a position of forum staff. We are all the same here, not us vs. them or any such nonsense.

Like it has been said before... we as staff would love to do things at a more personal level, however; it is impossible to achieve nowadays with so many active members on this site. The bigger something gets, the harder it is to manage... which means a more doctrine approach is employed because that is the only thing that works when factoring time and effort into such an equation. We have lives as well, as our lives are not based on being here the majority of our days writing personal messages to people about rules and policies.

Sit on one side of the fence and see it one way, sit on the other and get a whole different perspective on things... just my two cents though.

 

[Llama]

Oh I totally get that anthony. The authority is a perceived one, as I know you are all volunteers and generally mod staff is drawn from the population at hand. It's less a matter of what you represent, and more a matter of how I see you. Which is pretty much the problem because then nearly everyone turns into an authority figure in some way, and I'm frozen from being able to do anything in fear of disappointing them. Logically, rationally, I know that you are all here to make a safe place for everyone, and doing that in the best way possible. It's more a responsibility on your end to make a space for everyone to enjoy rather than to punish people for not doing things right. I was a mod on a forum for many years so I get how it works and what is involved.

And as I said in my first post, the mod that sent me the infraction notice was incredibly sensitive about it and I appreciate that. I think that you are all doing an excellent job, especially given the sensitivity of the folks posting. We're not as strong as the 'normal' folks out there are.

I notice that you seem a bit sensitive about the issue, which I completely understand. Being a mod in the past I would get quite tired of having to come down on people who just wouldn't listen and were doing their best to make the community a rotten place for everyone else. I also had to deal with people freaking out over a small warning that was given in a friendly way. I've seen a couple of posts here that seem similar, and I know how tiring it is to try and deal with people getting angry with you when all you are trying to do is provide a good place for people to be.

Seems to me that the majority, though, understand that you are doing your jobs in the fairest, gentlest way possible, and I'm sure I wouldn't just be speaking for myself when I say that it is appreciated, and on my end that comes from knowing how tough the job can be.

From the other hand though, I see authority everywhere. My doctor becomes an authority figure, my therapist does, even though I am actually the one in charge. I am paying for their services, and have the power to end the relationship whenever I want. That's part of the victim cycle though, in that I put myself in the subservient, weaker position making myself helpless and unable to control anything in my life. It's a very hard cycle to break out of I'm finding.

 

[anni]

I like it when I read where someone has verbalized a concept I've felt. Yes, it's as Llama says, where the staff of course are not 'authority' figures, and we know that intellectually but viewed through the PTSD lense anyone with the slightest 'power' automatically becomes one. It's part of our healing to reconcile the emotional reaction with the reality of a given situation.

Knowing intellectually that the staff here are all sufferers 'in real life' is what makes it easier to reject our unrealistic, emotionally charged reactions to one of the infraction reminders and keep coming back.

And thanks for that, very much!

Anni

 

[sal]

I panic with criticism. Heart races, feel not good enough, so I hope I don't get too many here. The world is full of them and this being a forum for PTSD maybe they will take it a little easier on us. I think you handled it well!