Hello all,
This is my first post to this website. I have recently been diagnosed with CPTSD and needless to say, I am feeling very lost in what this diagnosis exactly means for me.
I will save the history of how it all started for another time. However, one thing I would say is that this diagnosis is a recent development in what has been a long uphill battle. I have been hounded by severe anxiety and flashbacks, along with nightmares for so many years.
I have been on and off of medication and passed from doctor, to counsellor, to psychologist and back again. Anxiety has been pinned as the major culprit. However, something always felt off. I knew my anxiety wasn't just something irrational that sprung up one day but something that was very much singular and with reason. This is what pushed me towards considering an assessment for CPTSD.
I never once however, thought I would be clinically diagnosed with CPTSD. Largely because well, I guess I was led to feel that what I went through pales in comparison to others. I thought it would just lead to a dead end. I always disregarded myself as being just weak and utterly ungrateful because the response was always to man up and to "pull my head out of the sand" (a delightfully inspiring comment from a GP, when I was at my lowest and struggling to pin down a job).
Now however, I find myself really taking a long hard look at the very thing I had been pushing out of my mind for so long. It is only now that I realise just how many demons I have to face. It is a very scary feeling but it also fills me with hope. Because now this thing has been identified, I can see the strings it is pulling within every aspect of my life. The scale of how much healing I have been denying myself has taken me by surprise.
I know that the road to recovery is going to be long and hard but it already hasn't been easy thus far. I hope by coming here I can be inspired by the journeys of others and realise that I can win my life back.
I look forwards to meeting you all.
This is my first post to this website. I have recently been diagnosed with CPTSD and needless to say, I am feeling very lost in what this diagnosis exactly means for me.
I will save the history of how it all started for another time. However, one thing I would say is that this diagnosis is a recent development in what has been a long uphill battle. I have been hounded by severe anxiety and flashbacks, along with nightmares for so many years.
I have been on and off of medication and passed from doctor, to counsellor, to psychologist and back again. Anxiety has been pinned as the major culprit. However, something always felt off. I knew my anxiety wasn't just something irrational that sprung up one day but something that was very much singular and with reason. This is what pushed me towards considering an assessment for CPTSD.
I never once however, thought I would be clinically diagnosed with CPTSD. Largely because well, I guess I was led to feel that what I went through pales in comparison to others. I thought it would just lead to a dead end. I always disregarded myself as being just weak and utterly ungrateful because the response was always to man up and to "pull my head out of the sand" (a delightfully inspiring comment from a GP, when I was at my lowest and struggling to pin down a job).
Now however, I find myself really taking a long hard look at the very thing I had been pushing out of my mind for so long. It is only now that I realise just how many demons I have to face. It is a very scary feeling but it also fills me with hope. Because now this thing has been identified, I can see the strings it is pulling within every aspect of my life. The scale of how much healing I have been denying myself has taken me by surprise.
I know that the road to recovery is going to be long and hard but it already hasn't been easy thus far. I hope by coming here I can be inspired by the journeys of others and realise that I can win my life back.
I look forwards to meeting you all.
