Sufferer Hello. I just feel numb. Childhood trauma & CSA

[galaxies-far-away]

hi i’m galaxy I’m 21. i’ve had had a traumatic childhood of sexual abuse and emotional abuse at the hands of a narc sperm donor and step demon and I’d like to call them. my biological mom is amazing but I have a history of suicial thoughts back when I was 16 actually attempting suicide and after that I healed and went back to being happy for 2 years with the occasional flashback and I now am in a space where I feel numb again and I just sleep to block out the trauma. I have been in counseling as a kid but I blocked it out. I use art and creating music to cope but now I feel like music isn’t helping much. when I was 16 I would self harm and at times have what I believe to be episodes of psychotic depression. I would see and hear things. at the time cps recommended therapy but I chose not to go and used music and art to cope. I believe I have c-ptsd and depression but I don’t want to go to therapy. I hate talking to people about my problems. thanks for listening

 

[Freida]

Welcome!

hopefully talking here will help you feel more confident about talking to a therapist :)

 

[galaxies-far-away]

Welcome!

hopefully talking here will help you feel more confident about talking to a therapist :)

hopefully thanks freida

 

[JaaKK]

hi i’m galaxy I’m 21. i’ve had had a traumatic childhood of sexual abuse and emotional abuse at the hands of a narc sperm donor and step demon and I’d like to call them. my biological mom is amazing but I have a history of suicial thoughts back when I was 16 actually attempting suicide and after that I healed and went back to being happy for 2 years with the occasional flashback and I now am in a space where I feel numb again and I just sleep to block out the trauma. I have been in counseling as a kid but I blocked it out. I use art and creating music to cope but now I feel like music isn’t helping much. when I was 16 I would self harm and at times have what I believe to be episodes of psychotic depression. I would see and hear things. at the time cps recommended therapy but I chose not to go and used music and art to cope. I believe I have c-ptsd and depression but I don’t want to go to therapy. I hate talking to people about my problems. thanks for listening

Hello galaxies- far-away,
I hope that you are feeling better tonight. Have you tried journaling? Praying has helped me in the past too! Do you have any good supportive family and or friends? Getting out and being active in sports, a band, biking, hiking, fishing, volunteering, a college class, baking, carpentry, church... I started attending a college and career group at a church and met some really good friends and other people who helped me over come my problems. - I was pretty shy at the time and did not like talking to other people either. Going there also helped me get over my shyness.