Sufferer Hello Newbie. Survived Years Of Sexual And Ritual Abuse

[Quiet Buddha]

I am 25 yrs old. Live with my siginifent other. I am a survivor of child, and ritual abuse for about half my life. When I was 18 I got the courage to tell my story and now I am basically learning to trust and love myself.

I am not in therapy but looking for a therapist in the field of D.I.D. I was diagnos in 2010 with D.I.D. and PTSD. Bascially just getting through the day without any crisis is my goal. I struggle with flashbacks, dissociation, abreactions, self injury and flooding. I do not sleep well but thanks to my art I stay grounded through art and poetry writing.


< Edited to forum default style text By Amethist>

 

[Lila]

Hello Quiet Buddha. It is very moving to hear that you are learning to trust and love yourself. I really wish for you that this deepens and grows in 2012! And it's wonderful that you are an artist. That will accelerate your healing bigtime, as it puts you in direct contact with the Universe, and lets so much energy, guidance and Love flow into and through you. Sounds like you have a big shining soul there. It'll get you through this and into the Light. Along with lots of support and compassion. Gosh, hope I don't sound too high-brow esoteric :) This is my first time welcoming someone. Your introduction touched me. WELCOME!

 

[Lila]

And Happy and Healing New Year to you!!

 

[Laur16]

Hello Quiet Buddha and welcome to the forum
I can relate to your story. I also suffered years of sexual/ritual abuse. It is very hard to trust anyone, even my therapist. I too struggle with self injury and dissociation. The only way to heal is to have the courage to tell your story over and over again until you don't need to say it anymore. I'm not saying this is an easy process, it is by far one of the hardest things I have ever done. I spent years telling myself that what happened to me wasn't real and thats what my abuser wanted me to believe. I won't let my abuser keep me quiet anymore. I wish you the best of luck with therapy and hope you find someone you can trust. :)

 

[Elisacullen21]

Welcome to the forum :)

I'm here if you need to talk. Kisses for you and I wish you the best.

 

[TLight]

Welcome to an unusual and all to common club...I'm so sorry. This is a good place, Stick around.

 

[cdinwv]

I wish you a peaceful healing 2012! Arts can be very healing and a constructive way to heal oneself. Creativity and imagination is the greatest release of PTSD and inner hurt I have found to sustain me. I have self-harmed many times emotionally and mentally constantly battling my own self versus that of others. I spent many years as a doormat to others because of my sexual abuse as a child and in a ritual abuse family.

Today, I have been cast off from many who I allowed to further hurt me and abuse me in the revictimization process because I felt I was trying to help them when I couldn't help no one until I started getting help for myself and loving myself and trusting myself.

You are not alone. I hope your arts help you in your recovery. Your an inspiration whether you realize this or not. It takes a courageous and brave person to put their self into an art form no matter the technique used. Give yourself time and be patient and listen to your heart first. The pain though overwhelming will subside in time. Best wishes and much strength to you.