I'm new here. My insomnia brought me here. I was looking up ptsd and sleep aids. I'll be brief about my story....
I'm 28 years old from VA and I moved back home last year in July. I had depression to be honest since I was a kid. (I was a self cutter and suicidal since 11/12 years old.) I had repressed sexual abuse memories I didn't remember until I finally stopped cutting myself when I was 15/16 years old. My mother drunkenly told me one night she had been sexually abuse and that when the memory that had always stayed with me but I keep repressing came flooding back. Most of the sexually abuse at the time was repressed but one memory. The memory of my uncle showing me porn. I never forgot it.
Anyway every since I moved out my parent's house I have struggled with building a life for myself and tried to go to therapy/take medications. I even been to psychiatric care for a week after a umpteenth suicide attempt. (I made the mistake of telling a social worker(I didn't know she was a social worker) at a church when I was looking to talk to someone too.) I been on and off meds and gone to therapy because I quit because I think I don't need it. The meds and therapy is a reminder that I will never be "normal" . That I can never go back to being to the place I was before the rape and I have a hard time moving forward. I'm still stuck in a place of child's mind and I almost 30!
I'm trying once again to go to therapy and face this. I won't be able to see a therapist till the 26th of next month but I will go to group therapy next week at the local women shelter.
I hope to use this site as another form of therapy and look forward to getting know everyone here.
I leave with a scripture Mark 11:22 Have faith. My birthday is November 22. I like to think that God is telling me to hold on because my moment is coming....
I'm 28 years old from VA and I moved back home last year in July. I had depression to be honest since I was a kid. (I was a self cutter and suicidal since 11/12 years old.) I had repressed sexual abuse memories I didn't remember until I finally stopped cutting myself when I was 15/16 years old. My mother drunkenly told me one night she had been sexually abuse and that when the memory that had always stayed with me but I keep repressing came flooding back. Most of the sexually abuse at the time was repressed but one memory. The memory of my uncle showing me porn. I never forgot it.
Anyway every since I moved out my parent's house I have struggled with building a life for myself and tried to go to therapy/take medications. I even been to psychiatric care for a week after a umpteenth suicide attempt. (I made the mistake of telling a social worker(I didn't know she was a social worker) at a church when I was looking to talk to someone too.) I been on and off meds and gone to therapy because I quit because I think I don't need it. The meds and therapy is a reminder that I will never be "normal" . That I can never go back to being to the place I was before the rape and I have a hard time moving forward. I'm still stuck in a place of child's mind and I almost 30!
I'm trying once again to go to therapy and face this. I won't be able to see a therapist till the 26th of next month but I will go to group therapy next week at the local women shelter.
I hope to use this site as another form of therapy and look forward to getting know everyone here.
I leave with a scripture Mark 11:22 Have faith. My birthday is November 22. I like to think that God is telling me to hold on because my moment is coming....
