Supporter Help! firefighter husband has changed. is this ptsd???

[ladee]

Counseling for yourself helps you to deal with feeling rejected and being vigilant about his anger.... We tend to get confused when we are angry and it could be all sorts of things... he just lost a partner... that by itself could be causing the things you are seeing.. and as @Esterio shared, he could not let his wife know how broken he was and left. Yours is staying and going to counseling... try your best to just do things one situation at a time... you don't have to walk on eggshells or worry about missteps.. that is how the other person gets lost.... whether this is PTSD or not... if you are aware of your codependency issues, as you so honestly shared... work on that .... it will help you..... and in turn possibly help him.... it's tough... and you miss him... but also remember to love who is there now...it's still him, but in a lot of pain and not knowing how to express it... Hope things work out for you both, together....

 

[Savedbygrace15]

Counseling for yourself helps you to deal with feeling rejected and being vigilant about his anger.... We...

Oh thank you! I can do that! I can give him space & work on me. Part of co dependency is wanting to fix others but for years I have taken care of everyone but myself!

Thank you everyone for your time & your feedback. I have thought about each of your replies. I can do it one day at a time , one interaction at a time. I see where I was & what I need to do. Praying God instills our counselor with His wisdom & grace to help us improve our marriage. Thanks again!

Thank you for your encouragement & insight!!

 

[EveHarrington]

Welcome!

 

[talon]

Hi!
I am married to a firefighter 16 years. He is suddenly saying he thinks we should divorce s...

Say it as often as you can and make him understand that whatever it is he is dealing with he is not alone. Often the simplest most obvious things are the best . As a family tell him how important he is to you all you are a team . Try to stay calm if he becomes angry as this will diffuse any situation and make him hopefully understand love conquers all . As a family hold each other let him feel your love . If he needs space and time let him know he has it but encourage him to be honest the blame game is not the answer. How can you provide answers if you don't know what the question is . Hope this helps stay strong

 

[Mytime]

I was reading my own story when reading yours.? I'm also married to a firefighter and went through a very hard time. But we worked very hard once he let some of the anger go. We are now doing very well and still working hard to have the marriage we both want. Please take care of you.