General Help I Don't Know If Anybody Is Awake

[gene]

I just signed up for an account, i don't know what to do

this is happening right now, my girlfriend who has ptsd from a childhood of trauma is weeping and crying and screaming so loud, i can't comfort her or bring her back, she just hits and kicks me and tells me i hate her. but she's screaming so loudly right now that i am really concerned someone is going to call the police, and has been at it for a couple hours and its getting worse and worse, we live in a very remote town. what can i do to help her right now?? i'm freaking out and i can't stop crying myself which is just adding to the problem, i dont know what to do!!!

 

[Reclusive]

Oh Gene! I'm so sorry!!!! That's horrible and it must be completely freaking you out!

In a calm voice, as if you were dealing with a frightened animal (which you are), remind her of the date. Tell her that she's in a safe place and time. That you're there for her. Don't try to touch her, just put all the reassurance in your voice. If it continues much longer and that doesn't help, it may be time to call an ambulance because it sounds like she's going through a mental break right now and she may need to be medicated.

You'll feel like a terrible person. I've done it before myself.

Or you could just close the door to the room she's in and give her some time to herself. Like children do, she may calm down with the absence of provocation and go to sleep.

It's so hard to tell! It really depends on the sufferer. Use your best judgement but don't provoke or try to touch her.

 

[Lucycat]

Hi Gene
I am so sorry for the suffering you and your GF are going through.
I would suggest you don't try to comfort her, perhaps touching her when she feels like this is not helping her. Maybe she has some medication that will help her feel calmer?

I don't know what time zone you are in, or whether she has a therapist that you can contact - mine allows contact by text at any time of day or night in a crisis.

She will eventually calm down, even if through sheer exhaustion. Then you will be able to have a more rational discussion to find out what she want from you next time this happens. It is great that you are telling her you love her. Even if she is throwing it back at you, keep telling her. She needs to hear it and will eventually believe it.

When things have calmed down both of you can spend some time here reading more about PTSD, how it effects people and the different coping methods that have worked for different people.

Best wishes,
Lucy x

 

[gene]

Actually, Reclusive, that worked amazingly, I was really surprised. The problem was before I was kind of patting her to try and show her my love, but once I removed that, and told her the date and the weather forecast and simple things like that. She calmed down almost instantly, and now she seems to be sleeping soudly.

Thank you so much for the advice! We've actually both been lurking around the forums for a few months now.
:) Gene

<Un-necessary quote removed by Amethist>

 

[Srain]

I'm so glad that helped and she is asleep. Often my husband will leave the room and just me 'fizzle out'. It's not that he doesn't care or love me, I know he does but when he looks concerned then I start worrying and I can pick up his energy as well, it's not good at all!!. Much better for me to find my own space and to calm down.

Good job coming on here and asking!! GREAT JOB Reclusive :)!

Hugs!
Rain

 

[Froggie]

Gene, that was a great idea coming to the forum and asking for help. I can't stand to be touched when I have those bad moments. But then too, it depends on what caused the PTSD. Those who have had abuse, agressions, stuff like that can't stand to be touched as it is a trigger. Other people with PTSD need. In your GF situation, seeing it is caused by probable abuse, Reclusive's advice was guidance. Once she is calmed down, you could both sit down and discuss about what happened and plan some action for a next time situation. This will not only reassure her, but she will also feel that she is taking part in her empowerment. You can also talk to her about this forum. There is lots of information which helps, a great support system and she can take time to read some of the threads. For me, it helped me so much not to feel some spaced out crack nut. Best of luck to you gene.

 

[Reclusive]

Oh, whew! I'm so glad it worked for you, Gene. Sometimes we with PTSD forget when and where we are. Definitely discuss what happened with your gf and make sure you have a plan for the future. It will also help reassure her knowing that you're willing to support and help her when these things happen. After a good sleep, maybe too she can remember what triggered her.

By the by - thank you for letting us know everything turned out alright. Do something good for yourself and get some rest.

 

[ISupportHer]

I think this exchange is awesome. Members helping members. Although I think we all need to remember that this is a forum and not a source to ask for, nor receive professional help, it still can be such a valuable resource to ask others "what works?" etc

ISH

 

[Angus McGee]

Amen, ISH.

Really great to see. Kudos to Reclusive on her great advice. Saying the date, and the weather forecast is a great idea. I would never have thought of that.

And thanks to Gene for the positive report back.

I hope everything works out for you two.