Relationship Help my gf

[Big-bertha]

so I'm new at this. I do not have ptsd myself but my girlfriend does. And I want to help her but idk how. She was sexually abused and now has ptsd from it. If anyone can help I would be grateful. I love her so much and want to help her but am not exactly sure how to do so

 

[Sweetpea76]

You cannot help her. She has to help herself. You're just along for the ride.

 

[Lady Moonlight]

I would say that the biggest things you can do are educate yourself on the matter. There is a lot of great information on this site and in books out there. The other thing you can do is what you would do in any relationship: be patient, loving, kind, respectful, communicative, etc.
There are going to be times of frustration and anger and insecurity. You can work on yourself to make sure that you are a safe person for her, that you handle your own emotions well and that you are a reliable person for her.

Welcome to our forums! I hope that you will find all the information and support you need! :)

 

[chris1983]

Hi, u are not alone.
It's a very complicated, frustrating and sometimes downright crap thing to have to deal with.
But the fact is the time u get when PTSD is not the biggest thing in the world it's brilliant, when it's ptsd and that's all there is it's bloody hard going and that's a fact!

 

[Abigail7]

You can help her by helping yourself. Make sure that you have a support system outside of your relationship with her. Take care of your own needs and keep yourself healthy. Educate yourself on PTSD and encourage her to seek treatment, a therapist and a psychiatrist. You can't fix her but you can be there to help her through her journey. She has to have her own motivations for healing, but you can be there cheering her on and supporting her at every step of the way.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I want to help her but idk how.

You can't. But you can be there for her IF she wants to talk and stay non-judgemental, understanding, not push but rather let her say what she can, when she can, how she can, and how much she can. Understand there will be MANY times when you will be in the dark, unable to do anything, will need to ride it out, may need to stay if she isolates, and just stay until she is ready.

Does she have a therapist? If not then that's a great start. I would also get your own counselor. You will need it! Gain help with your owm emotions, your own issues, with understanding different situations and how best to handle that situation!

~ A fellow sufferer ~

 

[chris1983]

Example - last night amazing - we had a water fight with her little boy, had a bath together, made and ate tea, watched rubbish tv
Cuddled and held each other's as we fell asleep
Then during the night same old stuff!!!!!!!
But u live and learn to manage it,I don't do this very well all the time just sometimes but it's worth it in the end for me!