Help On Concerning Question; Answered

[Phenioxrising]

Going to switch therapists. And try and pursue this.
Yes, I might get hurt, but have to take some chances once in awhile.

 

[Loveneverfails]

I'm glad you're switching therapists, I think that's a good choice. If you have to pursue this, I hope you'll be very careful with your heart. Please take it slow and get to know the dynamic now that it will change.

 

[Phenioxrising]

Thank You, most people have a dark side.
But the more you hold it in the worse it comes out.
He seems more real than most people you meet. And, I'll get to know him.

 

[Sailorgal]

I hope you will be as candid and open towards your new T and not compare them against the current one because it's now tainted. It wouldn't be fair to the new T or yourself to continue healing properly. You may find them as not caring because of what's transpired. Wish you luck!

 

[Phenioxrising]

I will, And Thank You.
Besides, can always call on someone else now.

 

[Abstract]

Oh my goodness. This concerns me hugely.

If you start a relationship you are not starting it on an equal footing and the feelings you both feel are definitely at least partly going to be about the therapeutic relationship and not real.

There are so many thing about this that could be truly devastating for your wellbeing. I know people who have been in similar positions and have had their lives turned upsidedown.

The patient/therapist relationship is an intense one.

Exactly and it distorts reality. The whole "relationship" has been focused entirely on your needs up till this point.

Please consider at the very least discussing this through thoroughly with another therapist before you do anything.

We all have part of us that desperately wants our therapist to care completely for us but that can lead to a lot of damage. Its why boundaries and laws exist.

 

[Loveneverfails]

I've been trying to be as delicate as I can about this, but I am truly angry on your behalf Pheoniox. The more I think about it, the more it feels wrong and needlessly traumatic for your T to put you in this situation when you've already been through so much. I know it feels like a good thing, but you deserve for someone you trust to behave so much better.

 

[Abstract]

I totally agree. I am very concerned.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am very concerned as well. I think Phoenix you will spare yourself alot of future heartache by not taking this path. I understand that you think you know what you are doing, but this is so wrong for you. We are putting ourselves out here for you. Speaking from the heart and having gone through a betrayel I know that someone tried to warn me and I thought I knew what I was doing. If only I had listened.

You have not done anything yet. But I hope you will listen to reason. Beware of this therapist. He does know what he is doing and he is doing wrong by you. Wait two years and see if you still have feelings for him. It does not cost anything to wait.

I think the idea of talking to your new t would be great before you did anything with your old therapist. I understand the feelings feel really good to you now. But he does know what he is doing and it is wrong. Just what do you know about him really? I do not think you know him at all.

 

[Ice_Fire]

Phoenix,

I'm truly sorry your "T" has put you in this position. I am glad he is no longer your therapist.

I think this could get messy. If he were a teacher, a doctor, or other professional, would you think its appropriate to get romantically involved? There is an unequal power balance here in that he knows everything about you, things that you wouldn't ordinarily tell someone, even a person as close to you as a partner.

Please be careful. I wish you the best, although I'm fearing the worst with this relationship.

 

[Abstract]

Phoenix,
Am I understanding correctly that he is presently still your T? Where have the two of you left this at present?

 

[quaintpapercut]

I agree with the others. I would caution you to really examine the source of your feelings. Especially since you state that the feelings have occurred through "transference and counter transference". By your own admission, this means the feelings that have developed are a construct of deeper issues. I think you mentioned somewhere as well that you had only had three sessions with him - it seems a very short period of time to develop such intense feelings for him.

I wish you the best.