Help On Concerning Question

[Phenioxrising]

The only other person was The Dr. I worked with that opened my eyes to how I was treated. He was married and we kept things strictly friends/work basis. And yes, T says he wants to do this type of stuff for all his patients, but haven't noticed any special treatment on their hand.

 

[Abstract]

Do you think you need to stop seeing him or do you want to discuss this directly with him first? But it sounds like you have tried that already.

It sounds like he is crossing boundaries of what is comfortable for you and that you don't feel safe. That is very different from just being uncomfortable that someone is treating us well and us mistrusting people in general.

 

[Phenioxrising]

I blew practically my whole life story on him, and do trust him but, gotta get the nerve to ask him. What do I say?...You seem to have feelings for me, and it's making me uncomfortable. Yet I find him attractive. WTF Follow your heart and good things are sure to follow. Makes me second guess myself all over again, Yet I know the right thing to do.

 

[timid_flower]

Please don't take this the wrong way, but could it be possible that you are developing feelings for him?

 

[Phenioxrising]

Yes, but I can tell he beat me to the punch awhile ago. and yes, that scares me a bit. Which is why I posted this thread.

 

[Phenioxrising]

Let me rephrase a bit. I do feel safe and comfortable talking to him, as well as trust him. It's what he's doing that's going above and beyond, as well as his behavior. I know some judo, so that's covered lol. Never had this type of situation before, and with him wanting me to bring up the subject that I'm lonelycorr that makes it uncomfortable.

 

[Abstract]

Yet I find him atractive. WTF Follow your heart and good things are sure to follow. Makes me second guess myself all over again

I think it is very important to have a direct conversation with him. This is where transference can come up from your side. It can be possible.

As soon as we start making a proper connection to a therapist and trusting them then this can be when it arises. I think it's important to keep looking at all possibilities if you find him attractive.

Remember too that no matter and what the situation any type of romantic relationship will be very damaging to you. Don't at all fall into the trap of thinking that relationship could be good. if you told him him you find him attractive then he should behave very professionally in response. If not then he is safe for you and you need to get away.

Could you tell him that you think he is attracted to you and treating you differently because of that?

And then it might be wise to discuss what happens and is said on here somewhere.

I know I have bombarded you with questions but it can be important to look at all these things to discover how and why we feel what we do.

What have you asked him or said to him about this is so far?

 

[Phenioxrising]

Wanted to first ask on here, to judge my reactions and concernes about it. And he brought up that I was very aware and intelligent. Appreciate the questions. as it helps me judge my reactions and feelings for this. As I'm sure you would be feeling the same way. I guess bring up the topic again that I'm lonely, and go from there would be the best. See how he reacts.

 

[Phenioxrising]

He finds me inspiring, and had buttons made. So yes he would be treating me differently. As far as relationships go, I do tend to stand my ground. Standing my ground in this type of situation, is weird; but, none the less need to be done.

 

[Abstract]

I hope you didn't feel grilled!:)

I think talking it through on somewhere like here is a really great idea. :tup:

I would seriously encourage you to say directly to him that his actions and demeanour make you think he is interested in you romantically. I know it is very hard and scary. You did well to talk it all through on here.

What was on the buttons by the way?

 

[Phenioxrising]

When I first e-mailed him, I said I had to talk to my brother first. he was abused also but is in denial. He loved our mother even for what she did. I basicly told him I wasn't going to take and Sh*t from him. I may be the younger sister but I'm a grown woman. Since then he has nothing to say to me, and we'll work things out if possible. I generalized the abuse in code to my T, along with important matters to my brother. I said I was resiliant and he wanted to know how resilient, implying what happened. I told him just ask...Viola.. "Just Ask..." buttons made.
It is kind of funny, percieving it from my point of view.
And thank you I will.

 

[Abstract]

Lol. That would make me very uncomfortable too. I would not like it. It is a great phrase though. It's important for many reasons.

What I hate is when therapists (T's) have assumed they know what I think or feel.

I am sorry about your brother and very sorry too for what happened to you.

Good luck with having that conversation.