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Felmer

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I really need help or advice. I’ve been to many therapists, finally one figured out it was ptsd in ten minutes. He was good at the diagnosis but not so good at treatment, I don’t think. I dread waking up. I’m afraid to leave bed let alone my apartment. Fear dominates everything. I’m alone. One friend. Family moved away. I am trying a new psychologist this week who is supposed to know about ptsd. The last one said force myself to do things. Even fear of a morning shower. I don’t understand this. I was never like this until the event. Forcing myself does not fix anything. Now everything is upside down. I feel ok when I’m with this one friend, otherwise it’s a living hell. I live in the Bible Belt, thinking of leaving to a city where I fit in. Even moving I worry how will it affect it. Will it worsen it. I don’t know what to do. Staying here I’m extremely isolated. It feels weird to say force myself to do basics when there must be a gentler way. But the fear is paralyzing me literally. It has ruined my life. I’m no longer able to work which is part of how this got caused. I’m better at night. Therapists have said oh go take a painting class. I hate the idea. I’m trying to figure out how to have some type of normal day. I’m afraid to talk on the phone during most days. I can’t believe I’m experiencing this, it’s been three yrs. please, if anyone has any idea, I’d be grateful.
 
Hey there, I’m sorry you’re going through this, it sounds really difficult. I think most of us on here have experienced what you feel (overwhelming fear) to a degree, so know you’re not alone and it’s normal. It’s good you’re going to start therapy with someone that specializes in PTSD. From my experiences, and I’m not a professional, where to start is establishing feelings of safety. Your therapist should be able to help w that. And you can think of that now. Where do you feel safest? Are you familiar w grounding exercises? We are all here to listen and help out.
 
I’m better at night.

I was wondering, If you know that you are better at night can you adjust your sleep schedule to sleep during the day and get up at the hour that starts at a time when you know that you will be feeling better?

How will you be able to move if you are unable to function right now. I think your therapist needs to be working with you to stabalize you and get you to be able to take baby steps into functioning more and more slowly until you begin to feel a measure of success in how you are able to do more things without the fears and anxiety. This is all I could think of and I hope some of it helps you, I feel for you.
 
Hi @Felmer... I'm sorry you are going through this.... This is the start of a long road... But at least you're on the road.

You will find the new therapist better and more knowledgeable.... Medication will help greatly with the fear and pain you are dealing with.

It's OK to be safe and if that means staying inside then that's OK..... Don't force anything... It's not the time....

It's temporary..... As @Rain always says... And it is.... But right now it's shit... You have this forum.... These people will provide amazing support, wisdom... So you're not alone.... OK.... Big hugs
 
Hey there, I’m sorry you’re going through this, it sounds really difficult. I think most of us on h...
Thank you so much, you are kind. I feel safer in my apartment, but still paralyzed. And criticized for not going out and doing things. But doing things alone in this city, I’m alone. It’s the Bible Belt. Not good. I’m not familiar with grounding exercises. I don’t know if moving out of the Bible Belt where I could make friends real ones, will help, but hurt during a big move

I was wondering, If you know that you are better at night can you adjust your sleep schedule to sleep duri...
I worry about the same thing. How can I move if I don’t feel stable. I know this is serious. I’m going to a specialist this week. My current therapist doesn’t appreciate the magnitude. But in a new city where there is a chance to make friends, I think, would that help.
 
Hi @Felmer... I'm sorry you are going through this.... This is the start of a long road...
I do appreciate it, I’m confused though, how could this go on for three years without stopping and no one that I went to having any ideas. They said meditate. I’m afraid to get out of bed. I don’t think the fear is appreciated, the magnitude.

Well I wish you good luck in moving. I am glad that you found a specialist to baby step you to feeling bet...
I haven’t completely decided, it’s a gut feeling that genuine friends would help, but I’m mixed as you said about the psychological trauma of a move and alone
 
Even moving I worry how will it affect it. Will it worsen it. I don’t know what to do.
Worry about burning that bridge when you get there?

Sounds you already have enough fear on your plate daily. So limit it where you can, as by thinking of a future that you can handle, if it's the next minute, the next minute, if it's the next two seconds, then those.

What makes you NOT afraid?
Is it possible to reframe activities to that thing(s) to get them done?
 
Grounding exercises are something that help bring you back to the present moment. Some of the other posters here recommended to me something strong that activates the 5 senses such as say a peppermint candy/oil/spray, something tactile you carry with you that you can feel when you start to feel you are dissociating, someone here has a piece of wood they use, I have a 3 legged wood pig named Brad I carry w me and fidget w in my pocket if I’m starting to get anxious, it’s strangely reassuring. Someone gave it to me so it’s meaningful I guess.

One exercise I do is 5-5-5. 5 things I see, 5 things I physically can feel and 5 things I hear, it’s quick and discreet.
 
Not trying to be rude——

Many people go decades without a therapist figuring out what’s going on, all the time doing various therapists.

The truth is that most therapists don’t know crap about trauma. And many who do, well they still aren’t very good.

It can be extremely difficult to find a good trauma therapist, and impossible if you live in a rural area.

Keep pushing forward. Keep looking for a therapist until you find a good one. No therapist is perfect, so it’s a matter of “good enough” I’ve found. My therapist is good but she doesn’t do it all, so that’s why I’m doing a lot of self-therapy with internal family systems therapy. (I live in a somewhat rural area so my options are limited.)
 
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